< 1 minute readFor a team whose coach mocks England for having a boring approach to the game, Australia are hypocritically wedded to maidens. As the series wears on, it’s clear that Mitchell Johnson is just a go-faster stripe on an Astramax van. He distracts us, gains our attention, but this bowling attack
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Ben Stokes is a large, brightly-coloured straw
< 1 minute readYou can see him a mile off. Clutch him. CLUTCH HIM! It’s not so much that he scored a hundred on what was actually a fairly even, true pitch between the cracks. It’s more that he looked unruffled. Any idiot can bat, but hardly anyone can bat in the muggy
Continue readingKevin Pietersen and caricatured batting
2 minute readKevin Pietersen can often look a caricature of a batsman. Look at his leave. When he leaves a ball, Jesus Christ it stays left. The ball really knows it hasn’t been hit following KP’s huge, flourishing, circular withdrawal of the bat. Today, Pietersen batted sensibly and in keeping with this
Continue readingBrad Haddin is kind of shameless
2 minute readBowlers win you matches, but batsmen lose them. Is there really much point weighing up day one of the third Test when England’s batsmen might render all that preceded it almost entirely irrelevant? May as well go through the motions, just in case. Five down A growing theme of this
Continue readingEngland’s batting improves a bit
2 minute readLet’s not go overboard. There are two ways to look at England’s second innings. The first is to see it as indicative of an upward curve, which gives hope for the rest of the series. The second is to say that standards are now so low that it would actually
Continue readingThe tufty-haired boulder and the blancmange
< 1 minute readThe escape route outlined in yesterday’s article? England evaded it perfectly, opting instead to stand their ground, whereupon they were flattened by the giant, tufty-haired boulder which has been rumbling after them since they landed Down Under. The most frustrating thing is that, for all the devastation, Mitchell Johnson only
Continue readingSame faces, different players – but an opportunity for England
3 minute readToday was a nice little primer in how to approach Test cricket in Australia. It called for extremes. England didn’t really have any. It was all a bit fast-medium. We blame Steven Finn for this. On England’s last Ashes tour, he was exactly the right kind of bowler for Australian
Continue readingScrawniness and self-floggery
< 1 minute readSo where are we? No-one knows – which is the way it should be. What we do know is that England could have had one, two and, in theory, three more wickets if they’d caught better. We also know that England’s batting looks lighter than Michael Rasmussen. Stop going on
Continue readingEngland can’t bat and Australia can’t bat
2 minute readOkay, let’s take stock. England can’t bat and Australia can’t bat. Generalising masks specific truths, but this is actually a fair summary of where we stand. Mo’tchell Johnson has gathered headlines, but England also failed to score off Ryan Harris (forgivable) and shed middle order wickets against Nathan Lyon (probably
Continue readingAustralia are aggressive when they’re at their best
< 1 minute readIt was said that Australia’s ‘in-your-face approach’ underpinned their first Test win in the 2013 Ashes. It’s the kind of thing you hear a lot. Ex-players often plead for the team to be more combative. They say that Australia play their best cricket when they’re aggressive/sledge more. But is it
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