< 1 minute read What a great match. What a fantastic finish. One-day cricket’s an idiot – how can it not know that it’s dead? Twenty20 waited for one-day cricket in an Indian backstreet and when one-day cricket arrived, Twenty20 beat it senseless with a black cricket bat. One-day cricket’s bloodied and barely conscious,
Continue readingCategory: England
Half of England in love with money
< 1 minute read Apparently half of the England team would consider retiring early to play in the IPL. The greedy blighters. How dare they come down on the side of fiscal wealth against such lofty notions as pride, honour and respect. How dare they forfeit the unique opportunity to be slagged off in
Continue readingKevin Pietersen’s ‘new shot’
< 1 minute read Kevin Pietersen said: “That is a new shot, played today” after twice reversing his stance and whopping Scott Styris for six. No it isn’t. It’s batting left-handed. People have been batting left-handed for a while now. It’s a new approach though, even if it’s not a new shot. Is it
Continue readingAndrew Flintoff unveils his big surprise
< 1 minute read “Voila!” Brilliant, Fred. It’s a cricket ball. We’ve all seen a cricket ball before. What’s next in your box of tricks? A bat? A box?
Continue readingDon’t get a cricketer to do your tiling
< 1 minute read Here’s Ravi Bopara trying to do some tiling. Ravi! Stop! Everyone knows that you’re supposed to apply the adhesive to the wall and not to the tile. Now here’s Charlotte Edwards putting up the exact same tile. Q: How many cricketers does it take to put up one tile? A:
Continue readingKevin Pietersen gets sledged by a worm
< 1 minute read “What did you say, you little bastard?” KP suffered a dislocated little finger and severe bruising to his fist shortly after this picture was taken.
Continue readingOwais Shah attempts to please his masters
< 1 minute read Bad dog. No Test career for you.
Continue readingEngland win or lose to New Zealand
< 1 minute read This is how you write a match report: a week early. England put on a staggering/staggeringly inept performance against New Zealand yesterday, after a topsy-turvy/one-sided contest in which English cricket/New Zealand cricket/cricket/the weather was the only winner. James Anderson opened the bowling and delivered a virtuoso performance/a never-ending supply of
Continue readingPaul Collingwood talks all kinds of sense
2 minute read Unlike players in some other sports, cricketers quite often talk sense. They’re even capable of being interesting. That said, there have been some pretty ordinary thoughts expressed about this whole Stanford Twenty20 thing and about the IPL as well. Monty Panesar’s a bright guy, but his comments are fairly typical:
Continue reading10 million pound winner-takes-all Twenty20 match
< 1 minute read Thanks to Sir Allen Stanford, England will play a West Indies XI for a £10 million prize every year for the next five years. Each player on the winning team will get £500,000. Wish we had the job of picking the England side. “You’ll get half a million quid. You’ll
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