< 1 minute read That was as good as a certainty, wasn’t it? Kevin Pietersen likes a big match. He must be driven by stomach butterflies or something. We’re not quite sure how that would work, because even our rudimentary scientific knowledge tells us that there aren’t actually butterflies in there. He went out
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The only story of today’s play
< 1 minute read Realistically, there was only one story from today’s play. We’re talking of course of Jacques Kallis’s new ‘comfortable’ appearance. Now we like a fat cricketer as much as the next man – maybe even more than the next man – but we don’t appreciate Jacques Kallis’s late-to-the-party attempts. Our idea
Continue readingEngland will win
2 minute read Not at Lord’s, obviously. That’ll be a rain-affected draw like usual. England will win the series though. Why? Because it’s tricky playing in England. England supporters don’t realise this sometimes, but it is. Conditions are as tricky and alien to most nations’ players as Sri Lankan or Indian conditions are
Continue readingDawid Malan doesn’t get his own post
< 1 minute read Because this is about Andrew Flintoff. Flintoff hid a blinding fifty and produced match-winning bowling figures of 3-17 off his four overs in Lancashire’s stunning Twenty20 quarter final victory over Middlesex, which might conceivably not have happened. One thing’s for certain though, a man/boy who doesn’t know the difference between
Continue readingThe REAL news about England’s selection announcement
< 1 minute read Andrew Flintoff, Simon Jones, Darren Pattinson, Tim Bresnan. How bloody wide of the mark can the mainstream media get? Very. That’s how wide. There’s the mark and… …there… that’s where they are. Wide and perhaps a little bit low as well. The real news is of course His inclusion in
Continue readingWho is Jade Dernbach?
< 1 minute read He is both a cad and a bounder and you should beware his dandy ways. We’d say that Jade was a girl’s name if it were, in fact, a name at all. 24 first-class wickets at 40.62 and somehow he bowled Rob Key first ball. Some facts about Jade Dernbach:
Continue readingTim Bresnan crosses the line
< 1 minute read It’s okay – it’s a good line. It’s the line you have to cross to get written about on King Cricket. Tim Bresnan has been having one of those quietly productive seasons in which our Ones To Watch seem to specialise. Despite having taken more wickets than anyone else in
Continue readingEngland v New Zealand: it’s been…
< 1 minute read …of a lengthy duration. We’re not the kind of cricket site that’s ashamed when we completely overlook an England one-day international and the nineteenth match in a row between England and New Zealand was no time to adopt professionalism. When England were in New Zealand, they won the Tests and
Continue readingKevin Pietersen to captain England
2 minute read Paul Collingwood’s been banned for four matches for England’s slow over rate and Kevin Pietersen‘s picked up the reigns to the haggard, lifeless horse that is the England one-day side. We’re not unhappy about this. We’ve said before that we think Kevin Pietersen would make a half-decent captain. KP said
Continue readingRunning out a player who’s on the deck
< 1 minute read We like a bit of ruthlessness, but there’s a fairly clear line between ‘ruthlessness’ and ‘being a dick’. We call it the ‘being a dick line’ and we always try and stay the right side of it. England didn’t. Ryan Sidebottom went after the ball and inadvertently decked Grant Elliott
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