< 1 minute read Yesterday, we suggested that Shane Bond adopt a disguise in order to represent his country. It’s okay, he doesn’t need to. Our scouts have identified four young bowlers who could replace the injury-prone paceman for New Zealand. Ceci has found Ryan Shanebondom: And Andrew Webster, of Spun Out fame, has
Continue readingCategory: New Zealand
Shane Bond highlights cricket’s self harm
< 1 minute read Cricket’s short of fast bowlers these days. New Zealand are short of strike bowlers. The upcoming England v New Zealand series is short of stars. Shane Bond’s a fast strike bowler from New Zealand and is unquestionably one of the stars of international cricket. He’s in England right now, he’s
Continue readingBrendon McCullum hits record Twenty20 score in opening match of IPL
2 minute read If Twenty20, in the form of the IPL, is supposed to be conquering the cricket world, nobody told Ravi Shastri, who was addressing the crowd before the first match between Bangalore Royal Challengers and Kolkata Knight Riders. With an audience already whipped into high fervour, Shastri was given the task
Continue readingMonty Panesar’s celebration
< 1 minute read There it is. We haven’t seen much of it this winter, but the grin, run and airborne five got a welcome airing as England won the final Test to take a 2-1 win. Is there a dedicated recipient of the airborne five? It seems to be choreographed well enough that
Continue readingTim Southee suffers THE RAGE
< 1 minute read For some reason New Zealand demoted Tim Southee from number nine to number ten in their second innings. Southee was clearly irked by this and promptly hit New Zealand’s fastest-ever Test fifty in a magnificent display powered by THE RAGE. England’s fielders thought they were being clever when Southee came
Continue readingStephen Fleming finishes with a pair of fifties
< 1 minute read Everybody else is saying it, so why shouldn’t we? How apt that Stephen Fleming should retire with a fifty in each innings. In total he hit 46 in Test cricket, but only nine hundreds. Statistics might not tell the whole story, but there’s only the odd semi-colon missing in this
Continue readingAndrew Strauss gets the job done with BIG RUNS
2 minute read There are two sides to this, being as we’re English, we’re first going to concentrate on the negative, because that’s our knee-jerk response when our side have made a comprehensive fightback and put themselves in total control of a Test match. Andrew Strauss shouldn’t have been playing. He shouldn’t have
Continue readingRyan Sidebottom takes 7-47
< 1 minute read A week or so ago, we wondered whether Steve Harmison’s underlying lack of confidence was the result of not feeling like he’d earned his place in the England team. With six years and hundreds of first-class wickets between his first and second Test appearances, Ryan Sidebottom must feel the opposite.
Continue readingEngland’s top six are going to make BIG RUNS
< 1 minute read Word is they’re all hitting it well in the nets. Confidence is rising. Big scores are due. With players of their class, hundreds are just around the corner. As soon as one batsman cashes in, the floodgates will open. Because that’s the way it works. All batsmen have got a
Continue readingRyan Sidebottom does the necessary
2 minute read We said after the last Test that you need spectacular performances to win Tests and you also need them to give you some breathing room in case of a bad day. England got away with one day of buttery fingers thanks to Tim Ambrose’s hundred and James Anderson’s five wickets.
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