Mashrafe Mortaza takes New Zealand to the cleaners

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Strapping great Mashrafe Mortaza“Daniel Vettori, Brendon McCullum, Jacob Oram – this is the cleaners. The washing powder’s over there. It’s a quid for a full cycle and 20p for the dryers.”

“Thanks Mashrafe.”

Mashrafe Mortaza’s 4-44 today set up Bangladesh’s win. Mashrafe now has 116 ODI (one-day international) wickets at 31.78. He’s very important to Bangladesh’s continuing bid not to be laughed at.

We don’t laugh, but that’s more to do with our relentlessly pessimistic outlook on life rather than anything to do with our belief that Bangladesh will one day become ‘a force’.

To be more specific, we believe that one day Bangladesh will become ‘friction’.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Suspect the prices are from when the King was a student (though am convinced he went home every few weeks with massive bag of filthy laundry for his mam to wash)

  2. I reckon he’d be a once-a-six-month service wash man – at 50p-a-pound of washing. The less dirt the less cash needed.

  3. … I must add that I think he’s not all *that* correct. He’s probably just sad that his savings are in an Icelandic bank and had to take it out on something.

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