ECB Bod: Right, okay. We’re here to sort out this mess that we call county cricket. First of all: what’s the problem?
ECB Fella: Well it’s too much cricket, isn’t it? We’ve commissioned 15 studies, asked the players, asked the media, asked the fans, asked this guy with sticks in his hair who was collecting cigarette butts and squawking like an angry bird somewhere near Trevi’s Fountain in Rome – they all say there’s too much cricket.
ECB Bod: Too much cricket, eh? Who’d have thought it?
ECB Fella: Not me.
ECB Bod: Okay, so have we got a plan. How are we going to tackle this?
ECB Fella: We’ve commissioned another five studies and asked players, fans and media, but we couldn’t find the guy with sticks in his hair.
ECB Bod: No?
ECB Fella: No ‘fraid not. I found some really old blu-tack in my drawer though, so I asked that instead.
ECB Bod: And was there a consensus?
ECB Fella: Oh yes, absolutely. They all suggested the counties should play less.
ECB Bod: Excellent. Sounds like a plan. How much less?
ECB Fella: Ooh, dunno. Shall we try and knock eight to 12 days off the fixture list?
ECB Bod: Yeah, that sounds about right. Eight to 12 days. Which days will those be?
ECB Fella: Christ, I dunno. We’ve already worked out people want less county cricket. Can’t we sort out the details next year?
ECB Bod: Yeah, why not. We’ll do it next year. We’ve done plenty already. Gin?
ECB Fella: Don’t mind if I do.