King Cricket T-shirts and other stuff

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Cricket T-shirts on Amazon

We’ve made some T-shirts. Maybe you could buy some out of pity.

Here is a yellow one. Coloured T-shirts are £17.95.

You don't have to get yellow

Here is a ‘ringer’ T-shirt. Ringer T-shirts are £18.50. The grey and black ringer T-shirt is the one we bought to test the quality. We like it quite a lot. We’re slightly disappointed that we’re too embarrassed to wear a T-shirt bearing our own pseudonym out in public to be honest.

King Cricket ringer T-shirt - when did 'ringer' become a thing?

Here is a long-sleeve T-shirt. They are £22.95. The model is doing a gay dance for some reason. You don’t have to do that if you buy one.

The other sleeve is long too

Here is the hooded top or ‘hoodie’. It is £34.95.

King Cricket hooded top doesn't get a funny caption

Everything comes in different sizes and most come in different colours as well. Have a look round the shop.

There is also a boring white T-shirt for £12, but we don’t like it much, so we’re not including a picture.

Finally, you can get mugs and tankards that are very cool but a little overpriced for our taste. We added them just in case.

Buy King Cricket T-shirts and stuff.

The logo is our new one for when we finally get round to tarting up the site’s design. Thanks to Dan, Oblong Nads and The Crowe for their opinions, advice and technical assistance.

Biggest thanks go to us however. Firstly, for writing this website for five years and secondly, for coming up with the deceptively simple design for the crown (even if we couldn’t actually translate our biro scrawl into something on a computer screen.)


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. That’s a good one, Ged.

    Are you going to somehow manage one of these for every post we write?

  2. Something of a tautology that last one, Ged, although I am intrigued by the huge size of the “Ged Ladd’s use of Venn diagrams unrelated to King Cricket” section. Truly the Ged Ladd world must be a strange, if fully delineated, place.

  3. I was simply answering KC’s question, Bert.

    Perhaps a textual post that simply said “no” would have been easier and more helpful to all.

    When I use Venn diagrams outside the KC world, I tend to use three-way jobs.

    And don’t get me onto two-by-two matrices, or else I suspect that many regular KC readers will flee in terror.

  4. Sorry JimJam. It is largely because they are custom made.

    We did think about buying in bulk to bring costs down, but we probably won’t sell enough to warrant it.

    They are good quality. You can return them and get a refund if you don’t think they are, although you’ll have to pay the shipping costs if you’re sending the item back simply cause you don’t like it. If you send something back cause it’s damaged, Zazzle will cover the costs.

  5. Rather disappointed by the lack of girly shapes there, if I’m honest, KC. I’d like a nice slim fitting t-shirt with a scooped neckline, please. Preferably not in yellow, as in my experience yellow clothing is prone to attracting those annoying thunderbugs in the month of July. Just an observation.

  6. Thunderbugs – the lesser known spin off from Thundercats.

    Are you volunteering to model the ladieswear Sarah?

  7. We’ll see what we can do, Sarah. We didn’t want to overface people with options and we’ll admit we didn’t really know what the ladies might be after.

    No jokes about that last admission.

  8. I hadn’t considered that, CK, but I might be open to offers.

    “Overface”. There’s a word I hadn’t expected to read on here.

    I’m always happy to offer assistance with what ladies might be after, KC. I’m very amenable like that.

  9. The King Cricket coffee stein is incredibly incongruous on so many levels (well, two occur to me and they are not really “levels”, more “ways”). Is it sixteen and a half quid on incongruity though?

  10. We didn’t call it a ‘beer stein coffee mug’. We’ve no idea why they tack ‘coffee mug’ on the end.

    And yes, it is too expensive.

  11. Ged, I am kind of disappointed with the last Venn diagram. But kudos to sneaking in “two-by-two matrices” in the discussion board here.

  12. Hmmm, I’m a bit tempted to buy one.

    I’d be more tempted if they could be customised with our username in some way that wouldn’t make it look like a sports club/stag party member.

    That way we’d be able to know who’d just passed us in the street, or more likely who’s just urinated next to us at the cricket (unlikey as far as SarahCanterbury is concerned, but not impossible).

    I’m a bit worried about this ‘tarting up the website’ idea though. I don’t like change. Why can’t things just stay the same?

  13. Dandy Dan, the up-tartery is nothing too significant. It’s not a complex site, so there’ll be no all-singing all-dancing fanciness.

    Not sure usernames could appear without the stag night connotations.

  14. I see what you’re saying, Dan. If one of us were to see another one of us wearing a named King Cricket T-shirt it would enable us to get a head start on the mile we’d eventually be compelled to run.

    Why is a 2×2 matrix like a homeworker?
    Because they don’t commute.

    (All day that took, and it wasn’t worth the effort. Nowhere near as good as the anagram of Banach Tarski joke.)

  15. Ged, that last Venn diagram was inaccurate – surely the sales opportunity is TO King Cricket, as demonstrated by the large proportion of ‘What Ladies are after’, which does not overlap with ‘King Cricket[‘s] vast knowledge’.

    Apologies for coming late to the party only to make a pedantic criticism of a tangental point, but that’s what this site is for, surely?

    Also, the T-shirts look nice, but may not be the most seasonably appropriate purchase at the moment for residents of the northern hemisphere.

  16. On second thoughts, if anyone was to ever see another King Cricket t-shirt wearer, I doubt it would take too long for them to work out who the other one was.

    KC. You should get one, but in gold. The only one in gold.

    Out of interest, has anyone bought one yet?

  17. Dandy Dan, yes, we have sold a number of them.

    Sam, maybe, but not yet.

    A P Webster, a neat summation of the site’s raison d’etre.

  18. Imagine my horror as I realise it should be ‘tangential’ rather than tangental.

    To be fair, maybe an inaccurate AND pedantic criticism of a tangent(i)al point is even more in the spirit of things.

  19. If they were tangential the circles wouldn’t overlap at all. And moreover, apropos of a tangential point, it requires a line to be tangential – a point just won’t do. The standard of mathematics on this website is not good.

  20. Many thanks for criticising the Venn, APW. My Venns are always multi-layered and therefore ought to be the subject of much debate. Indeed someone somewhere will probably write their phd thesis on Ged’s Venns.

    Regarding the third Venn on this topic, you are quite right – the sales opportunity is meant to be an opportunity for someone to sell to KC, not an opportunity for KC to sell to others. Apologies if the wording was ambiguous.

    There is no room for ambiguity in Venns. I’ll take a lot more care in future, promise.

  21. Wearing KC merchandise would risk piercing the thin veneer of anonymity which our variously witty online identities give us (his majesty himself and Kentish Sarah have already moved down this dangerous path). The possibility of meeting someone in the street in a KC teeshirt, and after moments of agonised awkwardness approaching this stranger who shares a common vice to discover that I am in fact speaking to Bert or Ged and that they are flesh and blood fills me with foreboding. Maybe beer coffee steins would be safer.

  22. What an excellent amateur/early attempt at a Venn, Dandy Dan.

    But there is just a tad of ambiguity in the phrase “hopefully one time”.

    Did you mean that you think the “sales opportunity” Venn was ambiguous and that said Venn will be the only instance of intersection? Or did you mean that you didn’t think that one was ambiguous, but you hope for a single instance of such ambiguity from me in a Venn on this website?

    Anyway, thanks to everyone, especially KC, for this wonderful Vennfest. I haven’t had this much fun in years.

    Perhaps a face-to-face with Smudge would be even more fun than this – unlikely, but who knows?

  23. Ged

    It was your first suggestion that my Venn referred to.

    Thanks for your encouraging feedback. I very much doubt that it will be my last attempt at a Venn. I will remind myself not to step on your toes though when trying to represent information in the form of a diagram.

  24. Bert, you might find that the want of the 30 seconds thought I give before posting might be the difference between crass and crasser.

  25. RIP The Spirit of King Cricket.

    Where once it poked merciless fun at marketing speak, Matthew Hayden’s Haydenisms and had the occasional diverting post about cricket, now it is reduced to flogging the brand.

    KC will eat itself.

  26. The only reason we’ll be sitting up all through tomorrow night is for all the pence we make off this site.

    When the eyelids sag, we’ll tell ourself: “Think of the pence! Think of the pence!”

  27. Not if the council, United Utilities et al are already extracting the pounds at a heady rate.

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