Kolkata name their IPL team

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< 1 minute read

They’re going to be the Kolkata Knight Riders. Brilliantly, this isn’t even a joke. Writing this site gets easier by the day. This time next week, we fully expect Sohail Tanvir to change his name to Optimus Prime.

But the Knight Riders aren’t the best-monikered IPL outfit. That honour has to go to the Chennai Super Kings. Could they have been mere ‘Kings’? Could they have been ‘Supermen’? No, that would be nowhere near good enough. Chennai’s men are better than that. They’re Super Kings.

We’d probably support the Chennai Super Kings on the basis of their name if it weren’t for the whole Hayden factor. The Knight Riders too have Ponting and Agarkar fouling things up. Who’s left? Mohali seem the least-objectionable, but it’s not a done deal just. They haven’t got their full name yet.

We move for ‘The Mohali Cricketinator 9000s’.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. Super King! Like Bender!

    “Super King has all the powers of a King
    Plus all the power of Superman,
    Also he’s a robot
    Ain’t it cool? Super King you rule! ”

    Or: Super Kings! Like fags! mabe Mumbai will rename their IPL team the Mumbai Ten Bensons.

    Either joke would have also worked in your update.

  2. Why bother when all we have to do is conspicuously omit them and they appear anyway?

    This site LITERALLY writes itself at the minute.

  3. I fully expect “The Hoff” to be appearing in future games for the Kolkata fellas..

    Or singing their theme tune.

    Or driving them to the game in his talking car.

    Mumbai Indians definitely needs to be changed, that’s the least imaginative name in town. It’s also false advertising, cos malinga and fernando are bally Siril’s and Loots mon, and Pollock are saffers.

  4. Rumour has it Chennai changed their name to the ‘Super Kings’ after the players vetoed the original choice ‘The Chennai Bastards’. Apparently Murali was too nice to play under the Moniker, and he has little to no grasp of Irony, so that wouldn’t work as a defence.

    True story.

  5. They should have just given the teams a number. Like in F1 they play for the number 1 next season. Both are useless competitions but this way there’s something to play for aside from the money (maybe I’m missing the point of the tourney).

  6. What’s better than a Super King? An Ultra Ace, surely! Even if it does sound like a shaving gel. Or a condom.

    I’m fully in favour of The Hoff getting all cricketed up, if only ‘cos it’d really confuse the Germans.

  7. The Bnagalore team-owner Mr. Malya did better. He owns a whisky brand called Royal Challenge and named the team as Bangalore Royal Challengers… Go figure…

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