Last week’s County Championship cricket was even less consequential than the week before

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At least last time around someone won. Halcyon days.

Out of the three draws in the latest round of matches, the points scored ranged from Middlesex’s 10 to Warwickshire and Surrey’s 13. Surrey v Somerset was the only fixture to reach the fourth innings and Durham v Middlesex didn’t even get halfway through the second.

Player of the week

Ooh, let’s go with Adil Rashid. Not because he made 63 and then took four wickets, but simply because he actually managed to grip the ball at all. Here’s a picture of him wearing lots of clothes.

Anything else to report?



Oh, wait. We should probably say something about the table too.

Warwickshire are now top. Quite what this means is anyone’s guess being as they’ve played 50 per cent more matches than Nottinghamshire and Yorkshire in second and third and three times as many as Lancashire in fourth.

Surrey are bottom, obviously.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


    1. April is actually one of the drier months in these parts. Lancashire aren’t playing though. Their home fixtures are no doubt all scheduled for August when it pisses it down.

      1. It has snowed in Manchester several times this week, though, so this year’s weather is very much of the maverick variety.

        As I like to say (repeatedly, pretty much to the point at which it loses all meaning): “Look at the weather forecast, not the calendar”.

      2. Bert – the weather forecast I look at has the date as well, so I’m all good for Knowing The Date.

        …although it doesn’t tell me what night I’ve agreed to go out for a meal or when I’m going to Scotland on holiday. They should really add that in.

    2. They should have started the season in Seattle. It’s been 20-25 degC most of this month (don’t believe the lies about all the rain!).

      Plus, it’d be easier for me to get to a game.

  1. 50% more matches than Notts/Yorks
    200% more matches than Lancs
    150% of a match is one match

    1. I’m 120% sure that percentages don’t add or subtract the way you have just described, Mike.

      You need to give percentages at least 110% of your effort, as a unit, leaving everything out there on the field of play.

      1. How much of everything should I leave out on the field of play? 110%? 200%? 5000%? Not sure I fancy staying out there right now what with all the snow and whatnot.

      2. Yeah, whatever you leave out there will freeze. Don’t leave anything out there. Bring all of it back inside and store it somewhere safe to be deployed at a later date when the weather’s more forgiving.

      3. This is the right time of year for leaving as much as possible out on the field. The most you can leave out on the field in terms of work done is given by one minus the ratio of the ambient temperature to the core temperature, and that only if the cricketer is operating a Carnot cycle.

        If the body temperature is 311K and the ambient temperature around 273K (like this week), you can leave about 12% on the pitch (assuming that you’re giving 100%). In summer, when the ambient temperature is 295K for example, this drops to around 5%. Therefore cricket should be played in winter.

    1. They’re hit rock bottom, or so the venerable Badger leads me to believe, so might I call them the Pune Three-Feet-High and Rising Supergiants?

    1. Don’t know why Stokes focuses on the Ashes. Those are the Test matches that don’t need any help.

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