Monty Panesar playing for Lions in South Africa

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< 1 minute read

Monty Panesar demands one lionWhat, like as a prize or something?
No. Highveld Lions are a South African domestic side.

So he’s not being paid in big cats then?

Are you keeping an eye on his performances?

So how’s he been doing? Why haven’t you reported anything?
Er, well… he’s been okay.

Would you say that he’s taken 15 wickets at an average of 39.06?

Do you think that this question and answer format made this non-news any more palatable for the readers?
Not really. A couple of them might have got further down the page before they realised nothing was going to happen though.

Won’t they just be more annoyed because of that?
Probably, yes.

Is that what really matters to you? That you’ve got on people’s nerves more than usual?
Yes. That is one of the few things that makes us happy.


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  1. The Q&A format kept me utterly enthralled throughout this article.

    Well done, KC.

    It’s the veracity of the peice that I found especially compelling; you’d find some writers lion through their teeth, or resorting to convoluted puns. But not you.

  2. Did you expect all the commenters to continue the format of asking a question and then providing the answer?


  3. Does this article lack any mention of interesting animals, either real or made up?


  4. Yeah spot on Dave – how cool would it be to get a snow leopard! And very seasonal too. Or one of those white tigers?

    A lion would do at a pinch.

  5. Which reminds me of this question:
    How do you titillate an ocelot?

    You oscillate its tit a lot.

  6. All reads a bit postgrad to me, Bert.

    As does the “is pandolin anal gland squirt acidic or not” debate on another thread.

    In my simplistic, “sub-O-level biology/chemistry” mind I thought that pretty much all noxious secretions would be acidic to some extent – can’t imagine what might make them alkaline – but apparently that reasonable assumption and several web references isn’t good enough – only a peer-reviewed academic source will do around here.

    It’s OK, I’ll get out more after Christmas.

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