King Cricket

October 12, 2007 England / Regulars

Graeme Swann fails to conquer his bail addiction

< 1 minute readFor years Graeme Swann has secretly suffered from a rare and debilitating disease. Graeme is addicted to bails. Graeme’s been through a number of treatments – enforced withdrawal, hypnosis, various types of medication – but in the end he just has to accept it. He’s a bail addict and he’ll

October 12, 2007 South Africa

Don’t drop Jacques Kallis

< 1 minute readBecause paradoxically we end up having to watch even more of him. The South African selectors felt they could do without the world’s most willing batsman and least willing bowler for the Twenty20 World Cup. Jacques Kallis was a little irritated by this and resigned the vice-captaincy. He also claimed

October 11, 2007 Australia

Mitchell Johnson clouds the future

< 1 minute readWe’ve always had a desire to balance out the names of this world. Some people have two first names, like Brett Lee for example. It’s only right that there’s a yang to Lee’s yin and that’s where Mitchell Johnson comes in. Mitchell Johnson’s got two surnames, so he can swap

October 11, 2007 England / Sri Lanka

England win a one-day series on the subcontinent

2 minute readIt’s England’s first one-day series win on the subcontinent since ages ago. Except for one they won in Bangladesh, because everyone knows that you don’t include Bangladesh in things like this. They’re not a ‘real’ team. They’re just messing about. It’s definitely England’s first one-day series win in Sri Lanka

October 10, 2007 Pakistan / South Africa

South Africa select bowlers on the basis of bowling ability

2 minute readHow are South Africa managing to beat Pakistan? They won the first Test and now they’re on the verge of taking a 150-run first innings lead in a despicably constricted two match back-to-back series. Well, rather ingeniously and for just about the first time since their readmittance to Test cricket

October 9, 2007 Australia / India

Matthew Hayden leads the way – in the wrong direction

< 1 minute readGroups for whom Matthew Hayden is a standard-bearer: Modern opening batsmen who don’t have to face proper bowling Bears who eat faces Pious turds India beat Australia in the third one-day international at Chandigarh. However, they couldn’t stop Matthew Hayden from top-scoring with 92. Hayden’s one-day record since he returned

October 8, 2007 England / Sri Lanka

Graeme Swann the hero for England

< 1 minute readWe’ve been waiting to write that headline since March 31st last year, when we made Graeme Swann one to watch for that season. Graeme let us down then, but since being given a chance in the England side, he’s been encouragingly solid at a time when solidity has been at

October 5, 2007 Pakistan

Inzamam-ul-Haq retires

3 minute readNo. Don’t do it. We know you’re 37, but since when has lack of fitness affected your game? Besides, you’re as svelte now as you’ve ever been. Inzamam’s appearance has always been deceptive though. Maybe his slimmer look is deceiving us too. He’s got one more match to go –

October 5, 2007 England / Sri Lanka

Win the toss and bat

< 1 minute readThere’s one more match at Dambulla and so far that appears to be the best route to victory. In the first match, Sri Lanka batted sensibly and then England were skittled. In the second match, England batted haphazardly at first, then pragmatically later, once Owais Shah got to the crease

October 4, 2007 Regulars

Andrew Strauss given out ‘hunchback at slip’

< 1 minute readPakistan here successfully appeal for the little-known mode of dismissal ‘hunchback at slip’. As he delivers the ball, Mohammad Sami notices that his team mates have smuggled Quasimodo into the first slip position and asks the question of the umpire. This means of dismissal was removed from the laws later