Rob Key hits 182 against Lancashire

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key_1.jpgRob’s now hit 1130 first-class runs this season at an average of 59.47.

After last season’s aberration (he was recovering from shoulder surgery) Rob’s back on track. Now seems a good time to fill you in on The Origin Of Rob Key.

Just over a score and eight years ago, southern England was buffetted by minor geological disturbance. It barely registered as a blip on most seismometers, but this minor tremor in 1979 would eventually rock the entire world.

One of the side-effects of this tectonic fidgetting was that a very, very small volcano erupted in East Dulwich. This was a special volcano. Instead of producing lava, it spewed only the purest unobtainium.

The unobtainium became instantly solid on contact with the earth’s atmosphere. Over the coming days, the elements would ravage it into an unexpected form – the form of a man. On the seventh day it was struck by lightning, giving it life. Lo, Robert William Trevor Key (favourite band, The Fratellis; favourite food, Chinese; favourite TV show; The Office) was born.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Hopefully this will make up for his £400 fine (won’t they think of the pie makers!), he received from the ECB, for his actions at the 20/20 finals.

    I missed his dismissal, as I was dismissing drunk men, with my mystery spin! The mystery is that it never spins, so I’m like Ashley Giles in that respect..

    It also means that I have still to see THE WONDROUS ROBERT KEY be dismissed. In my eyes, he’s averaging about 2,500,000. Not bad for a fat lad.

    Myself and my Australian friend “Shane” (no really, it’s his name), he also has a nickname, “Coxy”, because his surname is Cox. Clever convicts, with their witty use of the Y to create superlative nicknames. Alas, back to the story! We fell in love with Matt Walker and decided we were going to devote our undying love to the shortest, rotundest (is that a word?) (and what’s going on with my over liberal use of the brackets today), hunk of love in the world.

  2. Surely not? not after all these years of scouring this site? it must just be my screen? someone quick, call Lynne Truss…


  3. Bri: Was there a spelling/gammatical error that was been corrected with no mention of the fact?
    This is a white wash of New Labourian proportions.

  4. Thank you scientician for your support, but I’ve had some phone calls and a visit.

    No, there was no spelling/gammatical error that was been corrected with no mention of the fact. This did not happen.

    I wouldn’t mention it if I were you.

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