Lancashire batsmen who are good

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Paul Horton.

That is all.

Put it this way, Iain Sutcliffe has been keeping Mark Chilton out of the side and Sutcliffe’s been batting so unbelievably wretchedly that he’s actually gone so far as to retire from cricket. His season average of 14 is superior to Chilton’s 12.

However, both can look down on the man we’d have said was Lancashire’s best batsman at the start of the season. Mal Loye has hit 103 runs in 12 innings.

Overseas locum, Lou Vincent, averages 25 this year. Francois du Plessis has done well enough to be awarded a contract extension – he’s averaging 26.5 (although he does seem pretty good).

Stuart Law has somehow found a way of conquering statistics. He’s managing to average 40, even though he’s only hit one hundred and three fifties in 16 innings.

Lancashire have been heading this way since 2003 and they’ve done sod all about it. There’s nobody to replace these non-achievers. When Lancashire drop a batsman all that happens is everyone below moves up a spot and the new player comes in at eight.

How they were in with the faintest chance of winning the title after being 100-4 or worse in every single match is beyond comprehension.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Du Plessis, is, I think, actually good. Horton is definitely good. But there are too many
    ‘odd-jobs’ in the side, what some would call ‘bits and pieces’ players.

    Lancashire, sadly, have blown good chances for the championship for the last couple of years, often with the rain playing more of a role than the opposition.

    Will I die without ever seeing Lancashire win the bleeding thing? I don’t have any terminal illnesses (that I know of), so I guess there’s a chance….

  2. I tell you why you’ve got no batsmen, they’re too busy looking at your vietnamese dating adverts!

    I guess there’s a gap in the market for The English perverts, now that Glitter’s gone, eh?

  3. Brilliant. I’ve been rumbled, lucky Ms Suave doesn’t read this shit then, really.

    When I told people I was off to work in Brussels, I really meant nonsing in Nam Dinh.

  4. The advert I’m getting is promising that I can climb the Myspace charts with ease, and get a record deal and become famous NOW. That’s uncanny.

  5. Nah, he is though.

    That kind of innings (Lancashire’s) is what happens when you only have one batsman and he gets a first-baller.

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