Mike Selvey leaves TMS

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< 1 minute read

Or rather, Mike Selvey is asked to leave TMS.

We’ve had a few goes at writing this where we’ve tried to compare Selvey to his likely replacements, but that’s not the point. The point is simple.

Mike Selvey has spent a lifetime thinking about cricket. He has interesting thoughts on the game. He is good.

Not mentioning any bow-tied, blathering names, but there are people in the TMS box who should go before Selvey. And not mentioning any other names (we’ll include a link instead) but there are people who perhaps shouldn’t appear further.

Producer Adam Mountford explains himself in an article in which he also, contradictorily, claims to need more presenters due to TMS covering more matches. (We’re not providing a link to that article as a petty protest.)

And one thing we will say about Selvey’s likely replacements (even though we said we wouldn’t) is that the ‘more recent Test cricketers’ that Mountford wants to introduce might by their very nature be less impartial.

Not that you can be ‘less impartial’. You either are or you aren’t. And they won’t be. And Mike Selvey is.


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  1. After reading that non linked too article yesterday, I wanted to smash Mountfords weasly face in.
    All upset cos people don’t like his choices.

    Pick people who can talk and know what they’re talking about, not the boys you’ve grown up with in the Beeb, you little shit face.

  2. There was one really bizzare paragraph:

    “There has been some comment about newer commentators not knowing enough about the game. I go back to my comment earlier about the importance of a mix within the TMS team.”

    This seems to imply he wants some of the commentary team not to know much about cricket. Have I misunderstood or has Mountfield lost the plot?

  3. Oh dear Ed.. You really are having a bad one, dear heart!

    I’d finish early tonight, and let beer O´clock start sooner rather than later.

    It is an amzingly petulant little article, from a petulant oik.

  4. Suave, you don’t know the half of it.

    I’ve just deleted about a thousand lines of code by mistake, saved the project by mistake and then found someone had wiped last night’s back up by mistake.

    I think I might go home and cry.

  5. Obviously the majority of our audience do not play the game at the highest level and sometimes the queries they have can be echoed by a broadcaster with a journalistic curiosity who, whilst having an excellent knowledge of the game, does not know all the answers.

    Ignorance is a strength, it seems.

  6. Selvey going whilst others remain is a steaming pile of Pougatch. Worse than that, it’s complete and utter Mountford.

  7. Selvey looks like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.
    Mountford looks like the hamster one from Peep Show.

  8. Oh dear God. What kind of a person listens to Agnew, Blofeld and Boycott and thinks “I know, let’s get rid of other people!”

    They’re just trying to make it harder for us to stick it out for Neil Manthorp

  9. Full on Hulk Smashing, Dave.

    He deserves no less.

    If I knew of a smash greater than the HULK SMASH, then he’d probably get that too!

  10. Test Match Special. It’s on the radio.

    We’re answering that for other people’s benefit. We can only dream of the horror that might ensue having answered and therefore encouraged Brian…

  11. Mountford? He’s the bloke who caused me immense amusement when I read his blog – he included an email from a Willie Montomergy Stack talking about felching – and it took him a day and a half to spot he’d been kippered…

    He obviously takes careful note of those commenting on his blog most of who seem to be rabid bow-tied twit fans – and he is after all the man who was excited about having Ainsley Harriot as guest during a lunch time…. http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/tms/2008/08/master_of_the_bacon_buttie.shtml

  12. Nothing really. We just assumed that you’d somehow twist that into something with which to beat us. That’s usually the way this works.

    Sample quote:

    “You make me so sick it’s like I’ve eaten tramp sick and been sick.”

  13. I saw Ainslie Harriot at a Richard Hawley gig, with Mark Lamarr and Jo Brand.

    He may be an over-excitable twat, but the boy’s got taste.

  14. Richard Hawley is good. But the problem with Mark Lamarr is that you never know if he likes someone just cos they have a quiff. I reckon he would turn up at Steve Brookstein gig if Steve was bequiffed.

  15. it’s a fair point Brian. I was amazed that they were friends to be honest.

    Yes, Jo Fitz, I think we should do a unified, nationwide (and anyone else who wants to join in) silent boo all through tomorrows commentary.

  16. I really like Mike Selvey’s writing but I muct admit I do not enjoy his analysis on TMS. He has an unfortunate whingey tone to his voice and is rarely as eloquent on the microphone as he is on paper. I sympathise with that shortcoming, btw, as I’m certain the same can be said about me. But no-one pays me to talk on the radio for a living.

    I do agree that Selvey wouldn’t be top of my cull list and I also agree that some of the newbie replacements are weak.

    However, both Alex Stewart and Phil Tufnell have surprised me with the quality of their analysis and the “something differentness” they have brought to the TMS box.

    So it is not all bad IMHO.

  17. A valid point Gedd, but I think this is a dig at the hacks with no personality that have seeped into TMS & even MOTD.
    There was an article written by the producer of MOTD blaming the public for not being clever enough to appreciate Alan Shearers brilliance. The man could have all the football knowledge in the world, but he’s still a boring twat.

    And don’t even get me on the Ian Wright thing.. A man paid to analyse a game, who was so disgusted with Englands performance after one game, he told Gary Lineker, that he couldn’t talk. Fuck off you halfwit, you’re paid half a million a year to do just that!

  18. No, not all bad at all. Agreed about Tufnell, still pondering Stewart.

    Not all bad, but some bad, is our feeling.

  19. I’m with Ged — I’ve read Selvey’s columns for years, but his voice just bores me to tears.

    However, I won’t hear a bad word said against Aggers and Blowers. Shame on you all!

    From what I’ve heard from The King Of The Jungle, he’s been excellent — good humour, a wry sense of humour and the ability to take the Michael out of himself. And some surprisingly good insights.

    Stewart I quite like so far…but I’m not sure.

  20. Stewart is a mat-fitting, penny-pinching, self-promoting little fucktard (thanks Suave). He is all wrong. He pushed Prior’s selection so hard on TMS that the Beeb had to come clean and admit that Stewart is Prior’s agent.

    (And this is libelous, KC, in case you’re worried about being sued … You may want to take out certain allegations)

  21. Well there goes ‘ignorance’ as a defence.

    Maybe we’ll do a comedy edit of your words…

  22. How can anyone be bored with Selvey’s voice, and not Stewart’s? He’s not got a change in tone or pitch, the monotonous, mat-fitting, penny-pinching, self-promoting little fucktard. (a pleasure D Charlton)

  23. Ol’ Eeyore Fraser also has an incredibly dull monotone, but he offers the additional bonus of being a human misery cloud.

    Why couldn’t they get rid of Gus? He’s got the same Middlesex drone as Selvey but lacks the humour. Manic depression is interesting, depression depression is not.

  24. Fraser is gold! He once grumped-on about strike bowlers:

    “Strike bowlers! what are strike bowlers?! Being a strike bowler is an excuse to bowl shit.” Or something along those lines. He then cited Pollock and McGrath’s stats etc.

    You can hear the pain of opening the bowling with Devon Malcolm in every word…

    Mahinda, seriously. Stewart asks for cash for interviews, for turning up to charity events, for fixing mats, for bloody anything. And he is poorly behaved when on tour…

    He is the biggest sham of a man since Gary Linekar cultivated his clean-cut image (don’t get me started on that).

  25. When I said I didn’t mind Stewart, it was based on about an hour’s commentary — I don’t get to listen to TMS much these days.

    My dad absolutely hates him.

  26. Alright, I will admit defeat.

    In that case I am pleased they got rid of Selvey as his accent/voice is so similar to Grumpy Gus’. For me it’s a zero-sum game.

    [It also used to throw me when Peter Baxter did the tea intervals – he sounded too similiar to CMJ – although I doubt Mr Baxter would have inflicted Pougatch upon a helpless world.]

    I’m just bitter cos I miss Foxy Fowler so. (Am enjoying the Hoggster at the mo’ but tis only a consolation prize.)

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