Yesterday, we suggested that Shane Bond adopt a disguise in order to represent his country.
It’s okay, he doesn’t need to. Our scouts have identified four young bowlers who could replace the injury-prone paceman for New Zealand.
Ceci has found Ryan Shanebondom:
And Andrew Webster, of Spun Out fame, has picked out no fewer than three potential replacements:
Andrew does concede that Optimus Bond may not be the best option, “as it may lead to him being stalked by Mark Ramprakash.”
Cricket’s short of fast bowlers these days. New Zealand are short of strike bowlers. The upcoming England v New Zealand series is short of stars.
Shane Bond’s a fast strike bowler from New Zealand and is unquestionably one of the stars of international cricket. He’s in England right now, he’s fit and he’s just taken 7-66. But he won’t be featuring in the Test series.
The only people who might be remotely happy about this are the IPL bosses, because Shane Bond signed up with the IPL’s rival, the ICL (which unforgivably came up with the idea of an Indian Twenty20 league).
We don’t reckon the IPL bods would notice if Bond played in this Test series. They’re too busy throwing money around and laughing. If New Zealand are still worried, they could always put him in disguise or something. We promise we wouldn’t let on if we recognised him. And nor would you, right?