The Roof at Lancashire

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The Roof sensibly protects himself from the harsh Lancastrian sun

We didn’t cover Lancashire’s Roses victory over Yorkshire at the weekend because – you know – sometimes you just can’t be bothered.

That win took Lancashire to the top of the table and one of the big contributors has been The Roof, Farveez Maharoof, who is rapidly turning into a blinding overseas signing.

It’s not so much that he’s averaging an unexpected 65 with the bat and 30 with the ball, it’s when he’s timed his contributions. For example, against Yorkshire, he made 31 not out off 19 balls with Lancs chasing 121 in 15 overs.

Doubtless a first-change bowler and number eight batsman wasn’t top of Lancy’s shopping list, but The Roof is here all season and in that sense is a throwback to proper overseas players who stick around.

This is what the IPL got wrong with its team-shuffling this season. To us, Wasim Akram will always be Lancastrian, while Darren Lehmann was but a couple of monophthongs away from being a genuine Yorkshireman.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. While the crushing of an old adversary is pleasant, and the continuation towards an inevitable county championship crown is to be applauded, I’m not sure this was wholly a good thing. Bert Jr is having some coaching at Lancs next week (Project FTMTFLBSIEC, for those who remember such stuff). I was hoping that a county side could spend a few days teaching him the benefits of a solid front foot defence, but it seems that this approach to batting has become uncommon even in its natural home. We don’t want to be teaching children that 120 runs in 15 overs is ACHIEVABLE. Far better that they understand that it is at least 90 runs too many.

  2. look at the white markings on his face. farveez is really trying to fit in with the lancastrians. almost there farveez, almost there.

    1. I am hoping now that the cat is out of the bag with Ryan Giggs it means that the injuction can be lifted to shed light on the real reason why Trescothick suddenly returned from India in 2006: Bobby Key was having an affair with his wife

    2. Okay Sam. We will name Ryan Giggs.

      Ryan Giggs, we name you ‘Nicholas Steven Lacquireau-Crap’.

  3. I have quite a lot of monophthongs at home.

    Phthome are on really old phthingles and phthome are on really old phthirty-phthrees.

    1. Once you’ve got past the word ‘monophthong’ and the hard-to-read references to vinyl, we wonder how many people will be remaining.

      We like jokes you have to work for.

  4. “The Roof is here all season”… – yes maybe he is but isn’t he playing for the Sri Lankans and hasn’t he got very nicely used to English conditions? Saw his tweet to Stephen Croft “Good luck with the games coming up! Join the lancs end of the test series!”

  5. I’ve discovered the secret of his success from his twitter – he admits to having surgery to give himself webbed hands.

    “Hey peeps! Whoever is wondering why am I not playing in the clt20 for wayamba coz got 5 stichers in my left hand 4th and 5th finger webbing.”

    Surely this is against the rules?

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