Two-metre Peter from New Zealand

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He has one of our favourite nicknames in international cricket, so we’re secretly slightly pleased that Peter Fulton scored a hundred against England because it means he should get a few more matches. Set against that is the fact that he was averaging 23 before the first day’s play, so you can’t say it was a particularly good day for England after opting to bowl.

There have been worse insertions, but ‘insertion’ is a noun which covers some unsavoury concepts, so that’s not saying much. That said, wiser men than us have highlighted the fact that drop-in pitches such as this often get flatter as the match wears on, which doesn’t bode particularly well for the weekend’s entertainment. Or maybe England were just crap and wickets will tumble when they come to bat.

However things pan out, Peter Fulton didn’t put a foot wrong. And with seven of them at his disposal, that means he’s still got plenty of room for manoeuvre.


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  1. The English skipper made the insertion and the team proceeded to screw it up.

    It was hot, sweaty work and the exploits of Two-metre Peter – so named because of his impressive length – made it all the more exhausting.

    Etc, and so on.

  2. Unsavoury concepts? It’s quite savoury if you do it right. You know, the good old “hang off the ceiling and use a long silk thread” manoeuvre.

  3. Despite his two metres, he always looks as though he is about to burst into tears.

    Personally, I was in the arms of Morpheus for most of Peter’s massive innings last night, so perhaps I missed a less pre-tearful looking performance from big Pete.

  4. Most depressing series since 1999. Final rites to be delivered tomorrow.

    England have been worse than pathetic.

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