What can Australia do with their fortnight off?

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Having had a couple of turd matches, Australia find themselves knocked out of the World Twenty20. Before playing Sri Lanka, Ricky Ponting joked about how they weren’t considering failure because the alternative, a fortnight in Leicester, was too horrific to contemplate.

Quite apart from the fact that Sri Lanka are a good team and that joke showed a certain level of confidence that Australia DEFINITELY WOULDN’T LOSE, how will the guys now entertain themselves for the next two weeks after they actually did lose that match?

  1. By taking time to learn about all of the great inventions that have come out of Leicester, such as DNA fingerprinting, extreme ironing and, er, roundabouts according to some people – although we doubt that one.
  2. By going out and meeting all the great people from Leicester, such as David Icke, John Deacon from Queen, the one who played Ruth in Hollyoaks about ten years ago and, of course, Mr Motivator.
  3. By coming up with even more jokes about Britain’s great and beautiful urban conurbations. Next week: Hull.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Don’t forget package holidays – the first one ever organized was a trip by train from Leicester to Loughborough – they could make a trip to see the blue plaque at Loughborough train station.

    Can’t believe you’ve forgotten the musical talents of Showaddywaddy and Mark Morrison…

    There’s also the sporting giant Willie Thorne to consider.

  2. If my own experience is anything to go by, they’ll probably spend half of it driving around the one way system.

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