What to expect from Stuart Broad

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We didn't expect him to bomb outside the swimming pool

Expectations are a funny thing. A great film trailer guarantees a disappointing film. Far better to keep expectations low. That’s our philosophy. Promise nothing and then deliver half of something to semi-grateful murmurs of: “Oh, it’s not as bad as I expected.”

After several years of promise and a number of highs and lows, we’re all starting to get to grips with what we should expect from Stuart Broad.

For a while, Broad promised to become a fast bowler. He isn’t a fast bowler. He also promised to become an all-rounder. He isn’t an all-rounder. In fact, he probably isn’t even an opening bowler.

Stuart Broad bowls at 80-odd miles an hour and he does a decent job. Every now and again, he’ll find the right length on a pitch which suits him reasonably well and he’ll take a five-for. Sometimes you’ll get some lower order runs from him. Sometimes his heel will flare up and he’ll miss a couple of matches.

That sounds a bit dismissive of his ability, but is that offering really so bad? A tall, reliable fast-medium bowler is something every team hankers for. If we don’t expect the bastard offspring of Michael Holding and Brian Lara we can be quite happy with that.


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  1. Is it possible, genetically speaking, to take two male zygotes and produce an offspring? Just talking about the genetic material ftr – this is assuming you had something to use in place of an ovum.

    1. Interesting place to raise this question.
      You mean gametes rather than zygotes, and the answer is no. In principle, you should be able to remove the chromosomes from an ovum and replace them with those from a sperm, then fuse this ovum with another sperm. However, the resulting zygote has no X chromosome and some of the genes on this chromosome, genes which are not present on the Y chromosome, are essential for life.
      Is there something about Stuart Broad that suggests he had two dads? Because I can’t see it.

    2. it is entirely possible Stuart broad has 2 dads. I recall a tv show from my yoof when the main character did have 2 dads.

    3. I was wondering if it were theoretically possible for a bastard offspring of Michael Holding and Brian Lara to exist. Seems not.

    4. Is Howe talking about Holding/Lara, or is he hoping to get pregnant by Stuart Broad? I find the post ambiguous.

  2. No no no no no. He was the chosen one, destined to bring balance to the English batting order. You can’t go back on that now. Raise up your expectations once more so you can tear him to shreds when he fails.

  3. Stuart Broad is one of the best fast bolwer in English team that is the reason fan of English cricket team expect from him. I will say you expect from those who have ability to do something but it is also right that too much expectations are not good in any thing.

  4. Considering that we usually place ridiculous expectations on the offspring of former test players, I think Stuart Broad has done a cracking job of meeting or even exceeding ludicrously high expectations.

    He’s very good. More reliable than his dad. And has already helped England to win us more Ashes than his dad. But a seriously good Ashes winning dynasty, those Broads.

    It must be in the gametes, zygotes and all that complicated biology stuff I didn’t concentrate on sufficiently at school.

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