Yorkshire fast bowlers and competition for places

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It’s popular these days to encourage ‘competition for places’. However, as a means of keeping players on their toes, it’s expensive and according to Yorkshire stereotype, that’s not an option.

The county has instead adopted a policy whereby it instils fear in its pace bowlers. Ajmal Shahzad was bundled across the Pennines in a Transit van and now they’ve gone even further by arranging to have Mitchell Starc deported. Yorkshire say the Starc thing wasn’t their fault, but they would say that, wouldn’t they?

Rumours that Ryan Sidebottom has been locked inside a shipping container are yet to be confirmed. This is largely because said rumour has only just been created, but still – those devious Tykes.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Name?

    Starc. Mitchell Starc.

    Could you spell that please?

    Sure, M-I-T-C…

    No, not that bit, the other bit.

    Oh yeh, S-T-A-R-C.

    Sorry, did you mean K?

    No, C, it’s spelled with a C.

    Well frankly, it isn’t. Stark is spelled with a K. S-T-A-R-K.

    Er, no mate. I spell it with a C.

    I didn’t ask how you spelled it. I asked how it was spelled. Properly.

    It’s properly spelled with a C.

    Oh really. Well answer this then. When you type it into a word processor, does it get underlined in red?

    Er yes, actually, it does.

    And what does the machine suggest you change it to?

    Er, Stark. And sometimes Starch.

    Would that be Stark, with a K?


    So all the evidence suggests you’ve spelled it wrong then, and that I was right all along.

    Well I guess…

    Right, go back to the start of the queue and fill out your forms again.

    What, you mean I’ve got to go right back to the start of this queue here? It’s enormous.

    Whoa whoa, hold on a moment. Is this the queue where you filled it out in the first place?

    Er no, actually it was in a queue at Sydney airport.

    Well go back to the start of that one then. Next.

    But I…


    1. We believe Yorkshire have put ‘Stark’ on his car.

      Say what you like about Yorkshire, they’ve no time for Cs…

    2. That is unexpected. Maybe it’s a comment on how many people from central Lancashire pronounce their Rs.

    3. Spelling mistake entirely coincidental. And are we sure it wasn’t Trevor Chaplin’s yellow van?

  2. Love the first concern of the Yorkshire chairman: “We’ve told them straight, we’re not paying the airfare again.”

  3. As part of the emergency seamer regime, I am organising a battle bus of potential stand in seamers which could fill in at counties. The bus contains myself, Mark Ealham, Freidel De Wet and Sreesanth.

  4. Unusual for you to spend time talking about a second division side, KC.

    I thought you strongly believe that second division runs, second division wickets and second division deportations are of no consequence.

    Preparing the way for yet more interest in the second division next season, perhaps, for some reason?

    1. Second division runs and wickets have little value. Deportations? That’s another matter.

    2. Ged! How dare you! How dare you suggest that KC is going to stop supporting Lancashire and start supporting a 2nd division team like Kent which is the only conceivable meaning in what you said!

    3. Bert! That’s no way to keep my heart!

      Also, with my pedantic hat on, Starc hasn’t been deported. He’s been “refused leave to enter” and “removed”. I know all about these things.

      *taps nose*

    4. Do they conscript people in Kent to guard the borders, like with the Night’s Watch?

    5. Ah yes, soz Saz.

      I should have remembered what my self-help group made me recite – “Factual accuracy is NOT the bedrock of a relationship, Factual accuracy is NOT the bedrock of a relationship…”

      Having said that, can a hat be pedantic, strictly speaking?

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