Matthew Hayden approves of Phil Hughes

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< 1 minute read

Matthew Hayden has given Phil Hughes, his successor as Australia’s opener, his seal of approval.

We know what you’re all wondering: How has Hayden expressed this? The answer, of course, is ‘badly’:

“He’s got all the evidence and the skillsets he needs. His humbling personality and how respectful he is are two elements of the baggy green culture.”


  • Evidence of what?
  • ‘Skillset’ is a word that needs stamping out
  • If ‘skillset’ is a word, it refers to a set of skills. A person has a skillset, not multiple skillsets. The word Hayden is after here is ‘skills’.
  • ‘Humbling’ means ‘to make humble’, so presumably Phil Hughes swans around the place like some sort of emperor.
  • There is no ‘baggy green culture’. It’s a hat, you headgear-fetishising knobhead.

In summary: Matthew Hayden still loves to add extra bits to normal words to try and make himself sound like he knows something, blissfully unaware that in reality it marks him out as a self-important dullard.


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  1. I think that Matthew Hayden is one of the Deceptacons. The way he bolts words together that don’t necessarily fit, like turning from a humanoid robot into a gun. Not to mention the way he walks.

  2. Hayden has a bad case of the Pups, probably fatal in his case.

    It’s like medium-pacers wearing eyeliner, except more insidious. Early stages – patient starts talking about himself in the 3rd person.

    Baggy Green culture: what’s growing on the inside of old Australian Test caps

  3. He’s a twat and no mistake. He misses off the important bit in everything he says about his own (or someone elses) batting success:

    “Skillsets, focus, mental something or other, dominating game spaces, oh, and having the opposition bowl 75mph dollies at me all day.”

  4. If Hayden had batted like he speaks, his most frequent mode of dismissal would’ve been “fell on wicket.”

  5. How dare you mock him? He has all the evidence! You’re going down, King Cricket! HE KNOWS.

    (“know” is a bloody strange looking word, now I’m not even sure I’ve spelt it right…)

  6. You get the feeling Hayden is indeed an alien and his words have been translated somewhat inaccurately from the the original Klingon.

    Our own KP is equally capable of gnomic pronouncements – this gem from a cricinfo article about how the Moores row (selflessly started by KP himself) saved team spirit :

    “It wasn’t just about January either. There were a lot of players who weren’t happy, and a lot of captains who weren’t happy as well.”

  7. What is the difference between an Aussie (including, it now seems, his baggy green) and a pot of yoghurt?

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