1st Ashes Test 2009 match report

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Price writes:

After driving down to Bristol on the Friday night, drinking a skin-full of Guinness, getting four hours sleep and suffering a packed train to Cardiff, we took our seats high up in the grandstand.

The raging hangover subsided (through the means of hair of the dog) and we sat enjoying the much cheaper beer than Lord’s or the Oval, the brand new Test venue and the Barmy Army trumpeter belting out some of Australia’s finest ditties (Neighbours, Home & Away, Tie me Kangaroo Down Sport etc.)

At lunchtime, Dan of ‘a cricket hat on an unusual head’ fame gave me my birthday present. It was an actual laminated set of Bat for the Draw Top Trumps he had spent hours making. I was absolutely beside myself with excitement:

Bat For The Draw! And it's tangible!

As the day drew on, the dark clouds moved in and the rain came down. We sat huddled under our umbrellas trying to pass the time waiting (in vain) for a break in the clouds. Dan suggested we play the Chocolate Bar – Movie title game (e.g. “The Horse Whisper”, “City Snickers 2: The Legend of Curly Wurly’s Gold”) and when we ran out of ideas, the Politicians – Fruit game (e.g. “Che Guava”, “Barrack Banana”).

When we realised the rain was not going to stop, we hightailed it back to Bristol where we went and drank the infamous Exhibition Cider from the Coronation Tap. I remember nothing past 8pm. Dan tells me we had an amazing curry.

Thankfully we got a lift to Cardiff on Sunday, as in my ever worsening state I doubt I would have survived a train journey. Most of the day was somewhat downcast as although we were sat in the sunshine, there were lots of annoying Australians nearby gloating. (Not that there are any other kinds of Australians of course). However, come 6.40pm, their mood seemed to dampen, which was nice.

Send your match reports to king@kingcricket.co.uk – but on no account mention the cricket.


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  1. Why would you make up a politician-fruit with “Barack Banana” when there is a perfectly real politician-fruit to be had for that fruit: Canaan Banana.


    Something like Breadfruit Papaya works better for Barack Obama IMHO. Che Guava is a good one though.

    Am I delving too deep again by any chance?

  2. Why would anyone play the Politician-Fruit and Chocolate bar-Movie title games when a laminated set of Bat for the Draw Top Trumps is at hand?
    Che Guava redeems everything, however.

  3. And I’m intrigued to see the word ‘Computer’ on top of the Rob Key card. Suppose I play the Player and my opponent plays the Computer and I win the Rob Key card off him, does it change to ‘Player’?

  4. Marathon Man
    Mission to Mars
    The Drifter
    Hitch Hikers’ Guide to the Galaxy
    March of the Penguins
    Mutiny on the Bounty

  5. Alex, some what predictably I did have a bit of an argument with a mate of mine. He was being a touch arsey so I told him where to go. Turns out he’d just been dumped!

    As far as the chocolate bar contributions go, Rolocop, The Flake Escape and Schindler’s Twix are three of my all time favourites.

  6. Re the chocolate movies / fruity politicians, I have nothing, but wanted to say that that is an AWESOME birthday present, and what an atmospheric match report! I want to come next time!

  7. Kk, Sir Robert has “computer” written above him as Dan spent many painstaking hours pushing print screen then printing and laminating. Some have “player” above them too. This doesn’t affect the gameplay.

    This in no way takes anything away from a quite marvellous present.

    Also, due to his importance, there are two Sir Rob Key cards

  8. I’m sure there’s a market for an energy drink called Che Guarana.

    I want a set of those cards!

    And who did Miriam? Am I missing something…?

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