It was Stevo Day at Canterbury yesterday in honour of county legend, Darren Stevens, who is leaving Kent at the end of the season, even though he’s only 46 and in the prime of his life (or at the very least prime adjacent). We have some questions about this possibly momentous occasion.
1. What was Stevo Day?
A pretty basic question this, but we’re still not 100 per cent sure what it actually was. We see Stephenson College in Durham have a Stevo Day and that’s pretty clear-cut. It’s an “annual college day to celebrate the end of the year and the exam season” and they have bands, food and drink. There’s a theme each year and people dress up. This year’s theme was ‘Wonderland’.
In contrast, Kent’s Stevo Day was a bit opaque. It was to celebrate Darren Stevens, obviously – which is only right and proper – but they don’t seem to have gone about it in a particularly dynamic way. Match tickets were discounted, which is a good start, but then it basically seems to have amounted to fans signing a book and an interview on the outfield during the lunch break, which honestly just sounds like work and not a celebration at all.
2. Is Stevo Day an annual thing now?
Why not? Kent can definitely improve on Stevo Day 1 – the least they could do is try. Or maybe his new county (if he finds one) can instead continue the tradition and show Kent how to host a proper Stevo Day, the way that we’d all imagined it. Come on everyone born in the 1970s, join the chant!
What do we want? More themes selected to specifically appeal to 40-somethings!
When do we want them? Next year and for every year thereafter until we grow infirm, which honestly won’t be that long so it’s no great commitment!
3. Was avoiding relegation really the right thing to do?
Kent marked Stevo Day by collecting maximum batting points which meant they avoided relegation. That’s an appropriate thing to do, we thought. And then we thought, no, wait, maybe it isn’t an appropriate thing to do. Maybe it’s a wholly inappropriate thing to do.
Because if there’s one county Darren Stevens definitely won’t be playing for next season, it’s Kent. What if he’s offered a contract at one of the relegated counties? (Definitely Gloucestershire and probably Warwickshire, but possibly Yorkshire.) What then? That’ll mean that the inaugural Stevo Day was marked by Stevo’s relegation to the second division?
Show some respect, damn it.
Are you theoretically trying to work but actually your brain is trying to do anything but work? Trust your brain. Your brain knows what’s best for you. Your brain doesn’t want you to work. It wants you to read old King Cricket features. There’s some absolute corkers in there, your brain reckons. You’ll definitely be a happier and more rounded person for reading them, it says, and you definitely won’t get fired for not doing that thing. Certainly not once you’ve explained that you couldn’t do it because you were busy reading an article that tried to establish which of Danish Kaneria or Dane Vilas is most Danish.