An update on county cricket ground names (and a couple of suggestions)

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Six years ago we handed out a bunch of awards to various county cricket grounds, in recognition of the terrible names they’d been saddled with as a result of sponsorship. Most of these names have since changed, but some of the new names are quite funny or potentially funny, so we thought we’d better update you on that.

The way we see it, there are three standouts that warrant comment.

1. The Cloud County Ground, Chelmsford, Essex

    We took issue with the naming of the Cloudfm County Ground last time around for reasons that are too obvious to state. We are therefore delighted to see they have (a) corrected the faults and (b) accidentally made a joke as a consequence.

    Essex’s new nickname is Cloud County.

    2. The Utilita Bowl, Southampton, Hampshire

    We are very much taken with the fact the Rose Bowl now sounds like a practical, jack-of-all-trades item of crockery.

    “The Utilita Bowl – suitable for soup, salad, pasta or stews. You can even serve pudding in it! (The Utilita Bowl is microwave and dishwasher safe.)”

    3. Seat Unique Riverside, Chester-le-Street, Durham; and Seat Unique Stadium, Bristol, Gloucestershire

    The first point to make here is how delightfully bone-headed it is to sponsor two separate grounds when the name you are applying has the word ‘unique’ in it.

    Secondly, these are missed opportunities. You are applying the word ‘Seat’ to large areas of seating. You could definitely have more fun with this. Imagine how many extra people you’d get through the gate down in Bristol if they were attending a match at the Unique Seat Stadium. Who wouldn’t want to spoil their buttocks at such a ground?

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    1. When I was a kid, I was occasionally taken to football matches. I struggled with the idea that the terraces lacked seats whereas the stands were all seating.

      Now, in my dotage, they are even calling grounds that only have stands “SEAT”, which is a form of progress I suppose. At least I now know where I stand.

      A bit shouty though, this branding. And KC should hang his head in shame at his capital offence – i.e. the distinction between the world seat and the brand SEAT.

      1. The rule with brands is to always ignore their capitalisation choices and just do it properly for them instead. Don’t let them dictate to you.

    2. Imagine if each seat at Eden Gardens was unique – that would tax the seat designer something rotten. I vaguely remember that one of the test grounds had a sofa on which you could sit next to Phil Tufnell at one point, after he did something non-cricket related on the telly. Also, on an unrelated point, I came here hoping to see a witty remark about Kishan ‘not thinking’ about world cup selection, but alas.

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