Are you a Lancashire County Cricket Club member?

Then you might have chlamydia. Apparently.

Dear Lancashire member

We’re not wholly sure why advertisers think this, but they clearly do if Lancashire’s 2009 fixture lists are any indication. There are several different versions with different ads. Here’s another that appears:

when you've finished your flask of tea

Now picture the average Lancashire member before taking a look at this one:

you'd better get yourself down the clinic

We don’t even need to write anything for this post. The pictures truly do say a thousand inappropriate words.

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15 Appeals

  1. You dirty northern monkeys!

    Are you all fornicating at four day matches?

    Filthy Heathens.

    Once you get the old Electricity, this sort of thing may calm down a little.

  2. C’mon, Suave. Who among us hasn’t been part of a group love fest at a County Championship match? All that these adverts are saying is that as well as a flask, an umbrella and a copy of the Daily Telegraph, people should also take some condoms when they go to the cricket. And, if I can add my own piece of advice, some lubricant can often come in handy.

  3. How are Lancashire ever to enlarge their membership if their adverts send such a shrivelling message?

  4. “Just because you can’t see… …doesn’t mean you don’t have it.”

    So what the Oldham NHS Cummunity Health Service is saying, is that chlamydia makes you go blind?!

    Or are they suggesting that Lancashire supporters are a wunch of bankers?

  5. Why are there only 6 pairs of pants? Does this mean 3 out of 9 Lancs supporters go commando? Are you in that carefree third O king?

  6. King Cricket

    March 20, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    We have a fully furnished basement. That sort of behaviour is nothing short of depravity.

  7. If I don’t renew my membership, will I be cured?

  8. I’m a Lancashire member, should I be worried?

    I think quite a lot of the counties are putting these ads on their fixture lists. The real question is: were you sent this by the club in the post – if so, why haven’t I had mine yet?

  9. Maybe Freddie can donate some sperm for the future of the County

  10. King Cricket

    March 21, 2009 at 11:05 am

    AP, we received this from ‘a source’.

    They are genuine and presumably these ads will stay. There’s no reason to remove them other than ‘they’re a bit inappropriate’.

  11. I disapprove of these leaflets a little because chlamydia IS serious and IS widespread and young people SHOULD be wary of it given that it CAN BE symptomless and CAN lead to fertility, but “they” seem to think that the way to raise awareness is through LCCC members! Do you have “young people” in your membership?? Separately, I once went to my doctor with a health complaint, and she thought I had chlamydia. I DIDN’T, BY THE WAY. I didn’t say that I had been fornicating with Lancashire County Cricket Club members, BECAUSE I HADN’T.

  12. I can’t see without my glasses. Do I have it or not?

  13. I love the fact that Chlamydia is touted as “one of the fastest growing STD’s” as though it’s a point of pride. “Girls Aloud – the fastest growing musical act in the world”

  14. I’m actually now finding the “just because you can’t see it…” one a bit misleading, because it could be read as suggesting that it’s something that you sometimes CAN see. Or perhaps I am overestimating the analysis that will be applied by the “youth of today”.

  15. Also, Bert: county championship, flask, umbrella, Telegraph, condoms, lubricant – have we met?

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