2 minute read England tour India over the winter. They play two Tests, which is clearly too few. They will also play seven one-day internationals, which is clearly a huge waste of everyone’s time. You can’t blame India. The last time England toured, the Test series was drawn while the one-dayers were so
Continue readingAuthor: King Cricket
Mohammad Asif is a dick
< 1 minute read That was what we wrote as a little aide memoire to ourself and we see no reason not to use it as the title of this post. Mohammad Asif has again tested positive for ‘banned substances’. Rumour has it that traces of finest unobtainium showed up in his urine. Unobtainium
Continue readingWhat could be better than Ian Bell’s 199?
< 1 minute read Ian Bell’s innings of 199 against South Africa was better than waking up on a Saturday thinking it’s a Monday and then realising the truth. It was better than hearing the phone ring and picking it up only to hear a dialling tone. It was even better than being asleep.
Continue readingRavi Bopara does even more DIY
< 1 minute read If you’re tired of updates about an indifferent Ravi Bopara helping to promote Nuts magazine via a National Shed Week PR stunt, then you might want to stop reading now. Because here’s Ravi standing outside a shed with his drill and his barbecue and also his rake: We’re hungry by
Continue readingKevin Pietersen likes an occasion
< 1 minute read That was as good as a certainty, wasn’t it? Kevin Pietersen likes a big match. He must be driven by stomach butterflies or something. We’re not quite sure how that would work, because even our rudimentary scientific knowledge tells us that there aren’t actually butterflies in there. He went out
Continue readingThe only story of today’s play
< 1 minute read Realistically, there was only one story from today’s play. We’re talking of course of Jacques Kallis’s new ‘comfortable’ appearance. Now we like a fat cricketer as much as the next man – maybe even more than the next man – but we don’t appreciate Jacques Kallis’s late-to-the-party attempts. Our idea
Continue readingEngland will win
2 minute read Not at Lord’s, obviously. That’ll be a rain-affected draw like usual. England will win the series though. Why? Because it’s tricky playing in England. England supporters don’t realise this sometimes, but it is. Conditions are as tricky and alien to most nations’ players as Sri Lankan or Indian conditions are
Continue readingColeshill 3rd XI v Visitors match report
2 minute read Spigot of 4.5 Inches fame writes: My first match! I waited a season and a half for the privilege of turning out for the Coleshill Thirds and when the call finally came, oh I was there. You betcha. Not least because it turned out we were playing Visitors – the
Continue readingDawid Malan doesn’t get his own post
< 1 minute read Because this is about Andrew Flintoff. Flintoff hid a blinding fifty and produced match-winning bowling figures of 3-17 off his four overs in Lancashire’s stunning Twenty20 quarter final victory over Middlesex, which might conceivably not have happened. One thing’s for certain though, a man/boy who doesn’t know the difference between
Continue readingGet to know the South African team
< 1 minute read This is a guide to a few of the newer South African players. You shouldn’t cut it out, nor should you keep it. You should read it once, sigh and think to yourself: ‘I already knew all that. I remember when this site was good.’ Paul Harris Paul Harris is
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