Mohammad Asif is a dick

< 1 minute read That was what we wrote as a little aide memoire to ourself and we see no reason not to use it as the title of this post. Mohammad Asif has again tested positive for ‘banned substances’. Rumour has it that traces of finest unobtainium showed up in his urine. Unobtainium

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Ravi Bopara does even more DIY

< 1 minute read If you’re tired of updates about an indifferent Ravi Bopara helping to promote Nuts magazine via a National Shed Week PR stunt, then you might want to stop reading now. Because here’s Ravi standing outside a shed with his drill and his barbecue and also his rake: We’re hungry by

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Kevin Pietersen likes an occasion

< 1 minute read That was as good as a certainty, wasn’t it? Kevin Pietersen likes a big match. He must be driven by stomach butterflies or something. We’re not quite sure how that would work, because even our rudimentary scientific knowledge tells us that there aren’t actually butterflies in there. He went out

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The only story of today’s play

< 1 minute read Realistically, there was only one story from today’s play. We’re talking of course of Jacques Kallis’s new ‘comfortable’ appearance. Now we like a fat cricketer as much as the next man – maybe even more than the next man – but we don’t appreciate Jacques Kallis’s late-to-the-party attempts. Our idea

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England will win

2 minute read Not at Lord’s, obviously. That’ll be a rain-affected draw like usual. England will win the series though. Why? Because it’s tricky playing in England. England supporters don’t realise this sometimes, but it is. Conditions are as tricky and alien to most nations’ players as Sri Lankan or Indian conditions are

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Dawid Malan doesn’t get his own post

< 1 minute read Because this is about Andrew Flintoff. Flintoff hid a blinding fifty and produced match-winning bowling figures of 3-17 off his four overs in Lancashire’s stunning Twenty20 quarter final victory over Middlesex, which might conceivably not have happened. One thing’s for certain though, a man/boy who doesn’t know the difference between

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