Jo Fitz writes:
Here’s the match report as seen from the perspective of an umpire.
Car Colston is a village just east of Nottingham that centres on its cricket pitch. Pavilion on one side, pub on the other. The pitch has the “Big House” end and the “cow” end. A big field full of cows. Not just a cow corner, a whole field. And the cows also wander around the village.
This afternoon they were as conspicuously indifferent to the cricket as they usually are. The only thing that seems to excite the cows is the sound of bagpipes. We know this from when the pub had a vintage car rally a few weeks ago. Midway through the first innings, the bagpipes started. The cows become animated and mooed along. Unfortunately this didn’t stop the piper.
If I had had a camera, and I hadn’t been umpiring at the cow end, I would have taken a photo to show how indifferent the cows were. They had wandered off by the end of the match.
The swallows were conspicuously indifferent to both the cricket and their own personal safety as they swooped across the square. A labrador sat with its back to the field of play for the whole of the second innings.
There were times when the scorers were conspicuously indifferent to my signals.
No-one was indifferent to the tea that Mary provided with lots of home made cakes. The chocolate cake went first, followed by a large Victoria sponge and a ginger loaf.
The weather was kind to us and we all went to the pub afterwards.