< 1 minute readAustralia’s spinners are both better and worse than people seem to think. Let’s first be clear that, as it stands, neither Fawad Ahmed nor Ashton Agar are actually in the squad. Furthermore, both benefit from being to a large extent unknown and untested. In a barren land, the distant man
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Australia’s wicketkeepers for the 2013 Ashes
< 1 minute readBrad Haddin has primarily been brought back as child minder, but he does average 45 in Ashes Tests and he does look like an Australian wicketkeeper, which is more important than you might think. There’s a chance that Matthew Wade might play as a batsman, so it’s safe to assume
Continue readingAustralia’s middle-order batsmen for the 2013 Ashes
2 minute readWe’d say that Australia were one crankshaft short of an engine room if we knew what constituted ‘the engine room’ or what an engine room contained or what a crankshaft was. Also, they appear to be missing more than that. Flicking through our Big Book of Cricket Clichés, we find
Continue readingAustralia’s openers for the 2013 Ashes
2 minute readWith his perpetually tear-filled eyes and propensity to snap tendons while waxing body hair, Shane Watson always appears a figure of fun. Add in his comedic insistence on throwing his wicket away before he reaches three figures and the boy-man becomes symbolic of how Australia has fallen. On the other
Continue readingAustralia’s squad for the 2013 Ashes
< 1 minute readWe used the term ‘echo chamber’ in reference to the UK cricket media the other day. That was in response to Joe Root worship, but it applies just as much to the way the Australia team is assessed. Half the experts out there are simply rehashing the last thing they
Continue readingWho is Darren Lehmann and why is he called Boof?
< 1 minute readSometimes it can seem like not a year goes by without the number of people on Earth who are younger than us growing. As sickening as it might be, we have to accept that there may be upwards of one person reading this website who isn’t old enough to remember
Continue readingAustralia aren’t taking the Mickey any longer
< 1 minute readAnd thus they have sacked him. Darren Lehmann will replace Mickey Arthur as Australia’s head coach. Lehmann is a decent replacement, but we feel the side would have been better off with an alternative candidate: Alf Stewart from Home and Away. Stewart is from the no-nonsense school of professional Australianism.
Continue readingSri Lanka are better than Australia
< 1 minute readIt’s funny how you can rely on the guys who’ve played 300-and-odd one-day internationals in these major tournaments. And by ‘funny’ we of course mean ‘predictable’. Mahela Jayawardene has played so many one-dayers that his average (33.40) is meaningless. What you actually need to do is split his career into
Continue readingAustralia and New Zealand are of a similar standard based on minimal evidence
< 1 minute readIn other words, they didn’t get enough overs in for messrs Duckworth and Lewis to put their umbrella-holding hands up and come to the rain-affected party. Aside from David Warner’s performance ferrying drinks, this match was perhaps most notable for Dan Vettori’s immobility. His Achilles tendon problems necessitate saline injections
Continue readingDavid Warner punching Joe Root – the real reason why it was such a despicable incident
< 1 minute readThey were in a Walkabout. Of all the pubs in Birmingham, David Warner and Joe Root opted to go to an Australian-themed bar which uses the slogan: “Home of the awesome spirit of Australia.” This makes Warner look like a homesick child, desperately clinging to anything even faintly Antipodean, while
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