< 1 minute readThat is what’s being suggested by Australia’s Channel Nine, who clearly have no regard for people’s desire to keep their dinner down. Even Peter Siddle doesn’t want to see Peter Siddle in his undercrackers. The thought of Simon Katich visibly confirming all jockstrap contents are fully contained sends a shiver
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Nathan Hauritz gets the boot | Australian selectors and spinners
2 minute readWe wrote about how Australia’s selectors don’t know what they’re doing last week. Nowhere is this more apparent than when it comes to spin bowlers. Spoilt by Warne and MacGill for so long, there seems to be a ‘grass is greener’ philosophy, even when the grass in manifestly not greener,
Continue readingIs the lead-up to the Ashes the best bit?
< 1 minute readWe sometimes wonder, because in a way, it’s when Test cricket’s shown at its best. No-one’s actually playing, but the fact that we still have so much to talk about despite that highlights what makes Test cricket better than every other sport. Even luge. Will the humidity in Brisbane aid
Continue readingAustralian cricketing cragginess Venn diagram
< 1 minute readIt’s the feature that never took off! There’s a smooth-skinned, hairless-chested quality to the Aussie team these days, although we’ve high hopes that Peter Siddle will one day attain the status of ‘gnarl dog’. For the record, Simon Katich is merely ‘hairy’.
Continue readingAustralia selectors don’t know what they’re doing
< 1 minute readUp until now we’ve thought some Australians have been harsh on their selectors. You can’t blame the selectors for the options they have to choose from. It doesn’t matter who orders on your behalf in McDonald’s, you pretty much know what you’re going to get. However, after making a big
Continue readingAustralia’s worst losing streak of all time
< 1 minute readHaving lost to Sri Lanka in the first one-day international, Australia are now on their worst losing streak of all time. Admittedly, we have discounted a few of their wins to reach that conclusion, but it still counts. Sri Lanka were 107-8 chasing 240 for victory and still won. The
Continue readingWho is Xavier Doherty?
< 1 minute readWho ISN’T Xavier Doherty? Friends of ours will tell you that one of our less endearing characteristics is a propensity to ask meaningless rhetorical questions when responding to direct requests for information. Friend: “Which turning is it?” Us: “Which turning ISN’T it?” Friend: “Where did you get that prosciutto from?”
Continue readingThe average one-day series
< 1 minute readSome players injured, some players rested, ‘trying out options’ ahead of the World Cup, introducing younger players. The reasons are varied, the teams are shit. Take a look at the Australia team from their last one-day international and then take Mike Hussey out as well, because he’s going back to
Continue readingImagine you’re Shane Warne
< 1 minute readWe’ll give you a minute or two to get to grips with that. You can come back later if it’s too much to take in at once. For those of you who are okay, we’ll continue. So you’re Shane Warne. With your reputation, would you choose to put this image
Continue readingShane Watson, Andrew Symonds and the scented candle – an abbreviated anecdote
< 1 minute readWatson thought the changing room stank and lit a scented candle. Andrew Symonds gave him shit for it. Andrew Symonds comes out of this well; Shane Watson less so. This tale comes from Matthew Hayden’s autobiography. We hope we get a review copy. Buying Matthew Hayden’s autobiography would effectively mean
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