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Mitchell Johnson has been unshitted by Troy Cooley

One, befriend Troy Cooley. Two, hang out with him for a week.

Last week, we said that Cooley didn’t seem to have done a lot for Australia’s bowlers. We partly retract that. Overall, they’ve had a pretty woeful series, but to teach Mitchell Johnson how to swing a cricket ball and restore his confidence after just a week in the nets? The man must be some sort of warlock.

Once upon a time, we thought that Mitchell Johnson was good. We have quite a bad memory, so we don’t really remember that, but it must have felt similar to today.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Yep, that’s how he won that bloody award, by playing like this. Then he ‘went away’.

    I wouldn’t worry about this, the swing will go as magically as it appeared and he’ll be in half-volley ram-rod straight territory again.

  2. shitbags. it was all a dream.

    cook scoring consecutive hundreds? england winning by an innings? i knew it was too good to be true.

    oh look who’s at the door, it’s despair.

    and he’s brought his sleeping bag and a family pack of tesco value toilet roll.

    stick the kettle on.

  3. You’re dead right, Pavan, it was never out of the question that Johnson could turn things around and become a devastaing attack bowler. And obviously it isn’t out of the question that he could turn it round again and become shit. That’s the thing about momentum – it’s only ever there in retrospect.

    Sam, you can slam the door in the face of Despair – he’s only welcome in the sports departments of Australian and English newspapers. ONE BAD DAY! England lost 10/100 yesterday. If Australia lose 7/100 tonight, England will win this test (Australia has no spinner, remember). And if not, we go on with the series score level and England still a better all-round side than Australia. Happy days.

  4. Smug bastards, talking about shutting the door on despair. Two good games and you forget your only friend of the last 20 years.

    Ask us poor Indian fans – it starts off exactly the same in South Africa EVERY SINGLE TIME. Every four years you think it will be different this time, and come home from work to find the score at 100-8. Despair doesn’t politely knock on our doors – it is already sleeping in our beds when we get home.

  5. I predicted a great test for Mitch this time around. That was based on unsound judgment. I got called “Mitchell Johnson’s overbearing mother” by one of the people here. To him and everyone else, I have this to say: “I told you so”.

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