Who is Michael Beer?

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Who is Jason Krejza? Who is Xavier Doherty? Who is Michael Beer? Those post titles sum up Australia’s spin selection policy pretty well.

Michael Beer is a blah-de-blah-de-blah. Who even cares? What’s the point? Shane Warne said he thought he might be okay last week and that seems to be why he’s been picked. That and the fact that he’s called ‘Beer’. Everyone loves beer. Then again, he’s an Aussie beer, so he’ll presumably be piss-weak.

Australia are still looking to exploit Kevin Pietersen’s weakness against mediocre left-arm spinners. Clearly Xavier Doherty didn’t exhibit exactly the right level of mediocrity.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. He’s actually riding a dalmation through an obstacle course that’s booby-trapped with bowling machines.

  2. Since the last Perth Test 2006, England have played three spinners – Monty, Swann and Tredwell.

    A prize to the person who can guess all 11 – no, really, 11 – of the Australian spinners in the same period.

  3. Dan Cullen hasn’t played in that period and who is George? Peter George is a quick.

    Unboom, but we’ll add The Tongue, Brad Hogg.

  4. I was talking just Tests, but erroneously included Beer. Otherwise England would include their T20 ‘specialists’. So I guess we can give it to String.

  5. It doesn’t matter what Beer does to England. Mitch will have a huge role to play, and I suspect he’s going to find his rhythm.

  6. That’s the spirit, D Charlton.

    That said, ‘which AREN’T the 10 spinners tried by Australia since the 2006 Perth Test’ is probably more meaningful, so our irritating rhetorical answer tactic falls down in that instance.

  7. Did we mention our struggles with addition yet?

    [Imagine a second sentence that acknowledges Bert’s witticism in an equally wittty way]

  8. Can we do cricket here? Is that allowed?

    This Beer chap (his name reminds me of something or other…) will either be a rip-roaring success or boundary fodder for Kevin Pietersen. If it is the latter (and let’s face it, it will be) they will still be forced to pick him in the 4th test as well. Any set of selectors can have their Darren Pattinson moment, but CA has already had theirs in this series. Dropping Beer after one test will pretty much force them out.

    Meanwhile, I reckon that the selection of Hughes will catch them out as well. Watson started out as a #6, and remains a #6 even when opening. The thing that allows him to play the way he does is the presence of a dour, crinkly-faced nudger at the other end. Having Hughes there will confuse him – he will almost certainly feel he’ll have to adopt a more “conservative” approach, and this will cause him to get out for a fifty-ball 7.

  9. And, as I’ve just noticed, you can’t drop Beer, as that normally incurs some sort of forfeit involving some vodka and a pickled gerkhin.

  10. Since no one here is willing to ask the hard questions,
    I am going to fill up that vacuum and ask them.

    Where do you get the pictures like these ^^ KC ?

  11. Some people say that we crop larger pictures so that it’s less obvious that we’ve stolen them, but the truth is that they arrive by magic. We’ve no idea where they come from.

  12. Australia would kill for a Brad Hogg these days…

    Also, I think that they are just starting a 20 year long search for the next Botham, sorry Warne.

    I know this is verging in hubris, but I’ve had to put up with the Aussie Mocking Machine for the entirety of my adult life, so I’ve got to take some pleasure of the mess they are in at the moment – if even only until next weekend (when M Beer actually turns out to be the next Warne)

  13. Does he have two middle names, also beginning with ‘M’? Then his name would be MMM Beer. If he doesn’t, he should.

  14. “Everyone loves beer. Then again, he’s an Aussie beer, so he’ll presumably be piss-weak.”

    Yes, but he’ll have an amusing stereotype-based advert to go with him, so he’ll sell by the bucketload in locals up and down the land.

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