2 minute read If Twenty20, in the form of the IPL, is supposed to be conquering the cricket world, nobody told Ravi Shastri, who was addressing the crowd before the first match between Bangalore Royal Challengers and Kolkata Knight Riders. With an audience already whipped into high fervour, Shastri was given the task
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What being a Kings XI Punjab fan ACTUALLY MEANS
< 1 minute read This appears in a section entitled ‘team mandate’. Apparently: “We are all Punjabis; by heritage, by birth or by choice.” That’s nice and inclusive and very fortunate when you’re marketing a franchise that doesn’t really have a great deal of regional appeal beyond the name. So we’re Punjabi. Who knew?
Continue readingThe Kings XI Punjab website
2 minute read Now that we’re a Kings XI Punjab fan, we should probably find out something about them. To the Kings XI Punjab website! It’s loading! It’s still loading! At least there’s plenty of time to get worked up about just how AMAZING the site’s going to be. Plenty of time. We
Continue readingKings XI Punjab IPL team song
< 1 minute read Can’t believe we thought the Kolkata Knight Riders theme tune was good. This urinates all over it. Our sole criticism is that they didn’t use that monstrously fat Sikh singer. We don’t know his name. Anyone? Thanks to Soviet Onion for wasting his work time to find this.
Continue readingChoose your IPL team
< 1 minute read We nearly went for Bangalore Royal Challengers, because they’ve got Rahul Dravid, Shivnarine Chanderpaul, Misbah-ul-Haq and Dale Steyn. We nearly went for Deccan Chargers, because they’ve got VVS Laxman, Herschelle Gibbs, Adam Gilchrist, Andrew Symonds and Shahid Afridi. We’re not a massive fan of several of those players, but the
Continue readingOpening the bowling with a spinner
< 1 minute read India is the home of spin bowling, so we always want to see EXTREME TRIAL BY SPIN whenever there’s a Test over there. There’s some batsman who’s supposed to be good against spin bowling. Yeah? How will he fare in an EXTREME TRIAL BY SPIN? Harbhajan Singh opened the bowling
Continue readingCan Steyn, Ntini and Morkel prey on mental frailties?
2 minute read We only ask because if they get good at it and develop a taste for it, they’re touring England in the summer. England’s batting line-up is currently supporting the entire sports psychology higher education programme in this country. South African coach, Mickey Arthur, says that Steyn, Ntini and Morkel are
Continue readingA B de Villiers reckons batting isn’t so hard on this pitch after all
< 1 minute read Vehement letter C denier, A B de Villiers, is currently 217 not out, which knocks India’s 76 all out into a cocked hat. A B de Villiers is young and richly talented. Let’s invite him round for tea but then pretend that we all thought he was a vegan. Then,
Continue readingIndia’s seventh lowest total in Test cricket
2 minute read All out for 76 in the morning session of day one. Eye-catchingly disgraceful. At just 120 deliveries, this was also the 12th shortest innings in terms of balls faced for any side in Test history. In recent times, only England’s 46 all out against the Windies at Port of Spain
Continue readingRahul Dravid: best bridesmaid ever
< 1 minute read Rahul Dravid hit his 10,000th Test run today en route to his 25th Test hundred. It’s a little bit overshadowed by Sehwag’s triple hundred, but that’s pretty much the way it goes for Dravid. Dravid was very much the support act for Sehwag yesterday, hitting 68 in a partnership worth
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