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Category: Regulars

September 16, 2015 Match report

Ashes match report – day one at Trent Bridge

3 minute readBert writes: There is a law around these parts, that match reports must not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES mention the actual cricket. Normally, this presents few problems. Cricket is largely incidental, both to a day at the match and to this website. “About the cricket, but not ABOUT the cricket”, best

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August 26, 2015 Match report

Clontarf Second XI v Laois match report

4 minute readDumbo The Suzuki Jimny writes: My name is Dumbo. I am a little Suzuki Jimny, making my living by being Ged Ladd’s car. In our neighbourhood I have lots of big relatives, mostly Range Rovers, commonly known as Chelsea tractors. Those big posh Range Rover fellas claim that they are

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August 17, 2015 Match report

Day three of the 2015 Edgbaston Ashes Test – match report

4 minute readBert writes: The final day of the Edgbaston Test wasn’t supposed to be that. In fact, at tea on day two, there was considerable doubt as to whether the final day would actually happen at all. Not that there wouldn’t have been a final day, of course, that doesn’t make

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August 11, 2015 Match report

The rump ire strikes back – Middlesex v Durham match report

2 minute readGed writes: “How did Charley the Gent Malloy get on, sitting on these infernal pavilion benches with his sore back when you came here with him the other week?” asked Daisy. “We didn’t stay here long,” I replied. “Although his main beef was less the pain, more the fact that

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August 4, 2015 Regulars

A budgerigar being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

< 1 minute readBalladeer writes: Recently my friend acquired a budgerigar, named Amigo. The second photograph I saw of said budgie was this: Crammed himself into his feeder. An Australian species of parrot, wearing the green-and-gold, with David Warner’s intelligence. Could you get more of an obvious Australian fan? I asked my friend

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August 3, 2015 Match report

England v Australia Edgbaston in 2005 – a 10th anniversary match report

2 minute readDandy Dan writes: The week before this Test, Will and I had been on a stag WEEK in Dublin. During the planning stages of this trip we had both been excited about this prospect. However, the reality was somewhat disappointing. The kindest thing to say is that the rest of

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July 23, 2015 Regulars

Two dogs being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

< 1 minute readDandy Dan writes: These are my two labs, George and Rufus. They’re just over one year old. I’ve been meaning to introduce them for a while but I’ve been busy. Anyway, their thoughts about Gary Ballance being dropped are difficult to ascertain. They simply don’t appear to be interested. If

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July 21, 2015 Match report

First of the summer whine – Middlesex v Nottinghamshire match report

3 minute readGed writes: Considering that this was to be my first day of cricket in the new season, the day did not start well. The day actually started very badly. Around 5.30 in the morning we took a call from the Duchess of Castlebar, Daisy’s mum, who had been hyperventilating for

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June 18, 2015 Match report

Ireland v England at Malahide – match report

3 minute readChuck writes: The last time Ireland played England in a one-day international in Malahide, Dublin, in 2013, I injured my back whilst emptying the dishwasher (at home, not in Malahide). This year, to avoid any such health and safety issues, I took myself along to the rematch instead, with a

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June 15, 2015 Match report

Middlesex v Nottinghamshire – match preview

4 minute readGed writes: It was a strange, bittersweet day, 10 April 2015. I woke up looking forward to buying in provisions ahead of Monday, which was to be my first day of cricket of the year – a traditional early season visit to Lord’s with Charley The Gent Malloy. Indeed, this

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Latest comments

  1. King Cricket on The Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Ashes – the Choose Your Own Adventure book with no winning pageDecember 24, 2025

    With our usual disregard for the calendar, we're simply a bit late.

  2. Ged Ladd on The Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Ashes – the Choose Your Own Adventure book with no winning pageDecember 24, 2025

    Festivus came and went without, unusually, so much as a single mention on this website. Plenty of grievances-airing in the…

  3. Rhys Muir on The Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Ashes – the Choose Your Own Adventure book with no winning pageDecember 24, 2025

    Lots of comments along the lines of 'hes an athlete.' Yes, so, literally one of the least important jobs with…

  4. King Cricket on The Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Ashes – the Choose Your Own Adventure book with no winning pageDecember 23, 2025

    Well certainly can't argue they're doing a good job of developing spinners, despite all the Lions tours and spin camps.…

  5. Pettsvaldo on The Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Ashes – the Choose Your Own Adventure book with no winning pageDecember 23, 2025

    Good push back, KC and I acknowledge there has been work. But firstly - if you have one choice, you…

RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • A cat finally being won over to cricket by the sheer ridiculousness of the Ashes
  • A cat continuing to maintain almost ostentatiously conspicuous indifference to cricket
  • Conspicuous indifference to Dan Lawrence’s gyrations from a human being

RSS Match reports

  • Match Report: Ireland vs England, 2nd T20, Malahide
  • Keep your enemies closer | a 2019 Edgbaston Ashes Test match report
  • Match report: Sixes, Fulham

RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • A cricket book alongside Australia’s most ridiculous Ashes captain (statue)
  • DEVICE NEWS! (A match report being conspicuously indifferent to cricket in an unusual place)
  • A cricket bat in a Pigbag video

About King Cricket

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Support King Cricket

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Recent Posts

  • The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day Test
  • The Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Ashes – the Choose Your Own Adventure book with no winning page
  • Sky Sports has boiled its Ashes coverage down to its purest and greatest form: Mike Atherton and Nasser Hussain standing there talking about what’s gone wrong
  • Still no Shoaib Bashir then. Do you remember when Ben Stokes used to back his spinners?
  • Can England defy the irresistible gravity of right-arm fast-medium in Adelaide? An Ashes third Test preview

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