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Category: Regulars

September 29, 2015 England / Regulars

Mark Wood and Steve and Ben Harmison play cricket together

< 1 minute readIn their normal clothes. The video this image is taken from is the very definition of ‘intensity’. Brace yourselves for some electrifying cricket before clicking the link.

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September 28, 2015 England / Regulars

Mark Wood and Steve and Ben Harmison have all joined Ashington Leisure Centre

< 1 minute readHere’s a picture of them brandishing their membership cards whilst wearing their normal clothes. It’s like they always say in Ashington: ‘No matter what you’re doing, always remain visible while protecting your head, hands and eyes.’ They have some damn catchy slogans up in Ashington.

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September 21, 2015 Match report

Cocktails For Two – England v New Zealand match report

2 minute readGed writes: “Have you brought the actual bottle of red wine you forgot to bring last time?” I asked, as I arrived to find Charley the Gent Malloy in the front row of the Mound Stand. “Absolutely – here it is,” said Charley, showing off a very appealing-looking bottle of

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September 16, 2015 Match report

Ashes match report – day one at Trent Bridge

3 minute readBert writes: There is a law around these parts, that match reports must not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES mention the actual cricket. Normally, this presents few problems. Cricket is largely incidental, both to a day at the match and to this website. “About the cricket, but not ABOUT the cricket”, best

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August 26, 2015 Match report

Clontarf Second XI v Laois match report

4 minute readDumbo The Suzuki Jimny writes: My name is Dumbo. I am a little Suzuki Jimny, making my living by being Ged Ladd’s car. In our neighbourhood I have lots of big relatives, mostly Range Rovers, commonly known as Chelsea tractors. Those big posh Range Rover fellas claim that they are

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August 17, 2015 Match report

Day three of the 2015 Edgbaston Ashes Test – match report

4 minute readBert writes: The final day of the Edgbaston Test wasn’t supposed to be that. In fact, at tea on day two, there was considerable doubt as to whether the final day would actually happen at all. Not that there wouldn’t have been a final day, of course, that doesn’t make

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August 11, 2015 Match report

The rump ire strikes back – Middlesex v Durham match report

2 minute readGed writes: “How did Charley the Gent Malloy get on, sitting on these infernal pavilion benches with his sore back when you came here with him the other week?” asked Daisy. “We didn’t stay here long,” I replied. “Although his main beef was less the pain, more the fact that

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August 4, 2015 Regulars

A budgerigar being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

< 1 minute readBalladeer writes: Recently my friend acquired a budgerigar, named Amigo. The second photograph I saw of said budgie was this: Crammed himself into his feeder. An Australian species of parrot, wearing the green-and-gold, with David Warner’s intelligence. Could you get more of an obvious Australian fan? I asked my friend

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August 3, 2015 Match report

England v Australia Edgbaston in 2005 – a 10th anniversary match report

2 minute readDandy Dan writes: The week before this Test, Will and I had been on a stag WEEK in Dublin. During the planning stages of this trip we had both been excited about this prospect. However, the reality was somewhat disappointing. The kindest thing to say is that the rest of

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July 23, 2015 Regulars

Two dogs being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

< 1 minute readDandy Dan writes: These are my two labs, George and Rufus. They’re just over one year old. I’ve been meaning to introduce them for a while but I’ve been busy. Anyway, their thoughts about Gary Ballance being dropped are difficult to ascertain. They simply don’t appear to be interested. If

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Latest comments

  1. Ged Ladd on Clamour model: Can’t James Rew just carry on breathing down people’s necks for a bit?April 23, 2026

    Stranger things have happened. This is English cricket after all. You might come to Rew the day you wrote this…

  2. King Cricket on Clamour model: Can’t James Rew just carry on breathing down people’s necks for a bit?April 23, 2026

    We keep wilfully suppressing the urge to write more equivocally on this. But yeah, that would be a corker.

  3. King Cricket on Clamour model: Can’t James Rew just carry on breathing down people’s necks for a bit?April 23, 2026

    To be fair to the ECB, they also haven't been averse to picking Second XI Somerset players over the first-teamers.

  4. Sam on Clamour model: Can’t James Rew just carry on breathing down people’s necks for a bit?April 23, 2026

    England now have the opportunity to do the funniest, funniest, funniest thing possible and pick Zak Crawley again.

  5. King Cricket on Clamour model: Can’t James Rew just carry on breathing down people’s necks for a bit?April 23, 2026

    It has to be said that those who suffer the neck-breathing are presumably the least likely to willingly open the…

RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
  • A cat finally being won over to cricket by the sheer ridiculousness of the Ashes
  • A cat continuing to maintain almost ostentatiously conspicuous indifference to cricket

RSS Match reports

  • Match Report: Ireland vs England, 2nd T20, Malahide
  • Keep your enemies closer | a 2019 Edgbaston Ashes Test match report
  • Match report: Sixes, Fulham

RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
  • A very high quality cricket book with a lagoony backdrop
  • A Device-like cricket-style bat in a Mexican corrido music video

About King Cricket

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Recent Posts

  • Clamour model: Can’t James Rew just carry on breathing down people’s necks for a bit?
  • If you want to bat for England, bat for Surrey. If you want to bowl for England, bowl for Sussex. And if you want to open for England…
  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
  • Skullwatch: Jamie Smith looks safe then
  • It’s time for some unsettling disloyalty: If England’s leaders aren’t being ejected then some of the players will be… but which ones?

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