Flintoff to Kallis

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< 1 minute read

We don’t know about you, but we’re glad Aleem Dar turned down that blatantly out lbw appeal against Kallis. What followed was as electric as that innocuous-looking, ankle-high, three-holed square of plastic in the corner there.

It was proper fast bowling; the kind you just don’t get in the shorter formats; the kind that only comes about when the bowler v batsman duel suddenly becomes personal and that bowler can do whatever he bloody well wants.

It actually wasn’t a supremely quick spell of bowling in the literal sense – high eighties maybe – but watch it: it was fast bowling. It was the kind of bowling that seems so much faster and more intimidating because the bowler’s so unbelievably pissed off.

This was no less a batsman than Jacques Kallis too – easily one of the best Test batsmen in the world and most definitely someone who doesn’t surrender his wicket easily. He’d actually got himself in as well. He’d just passed 50.

Even before the non-dismissal Flintoff was firing. Yorker, bouncer, bouncer, no run, yorker onto the boot… Not out.

At this point Andrew Flintoff summoned down the angel of pure bilious rage and punched his lights out, stole his bag of rage and put it to use.

For some reason, Jacques Kallis opted to take a single off the last ball of the next over, bowled by Monty Panesar. The idiot.

Bouncer, left alone, beaten outside off.

And then it ended the only way these things can ever satisfactorily end: with a stump being plucked from its earthy home and sent barrelling along towards the wicketkeeper.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Nice work Sire..
    If you take a trip to my little home, you’ll find the fail you requested!

    It was a stunning display. Fuck being at that end. I bet Ashwell Prince was praying Kallis didn’t get a single.

  2. Fred roaring and trumpetting around as Kallis trudged off made the rest of the England team look like a load of big girls’ blouses

  3. Just imagine an in form Harmison at t’other end – It would have been a sight to behold.

    I don’t care if Harmy is a cross between a guinea pig and an electronic tie organiser – he’s our guinea pig and electronic tie organiser so let’s have him back for the Oval.

  4. I would not be surprised, if Boucher and Prince hang around for ages, Vaughan over bowls Fred, who carries on charging in, then feels a slight pull somewhere in his body, and is out till his much anticipated comeback next summer, when he takes 3-72 against S.Lanka.

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