Guess we’ll write about Alastair Cook

Posted by
< 1 minute read

Cooking another very, very large meal

Does Alastair Cook know that captains are allowed off the field? If he doesn’t, no-one tip him off, because it’s going quite well. In five Tests leading England, he’s now scored five hundreds.

He even hit some nice shots today, which isn’t really the point. An Alastair Cook innings shouldn’t feature eye-catching moments – they’re distracting. The genius is in the whole.

You don’t watch him bat and identify a straight six as being the mark of quality (although it was a bloody nice shot). His brilliance actually lies in the fact that he becomes commonplace.

“Oh look, Cook’s batting.” You would never say that. You probably wouldn’t even say it sarcastically, because that would imply that the fact is in some way worth remarking upon. It isn’t. If England are batting, why wouldn’t Alastair Cook be at the crease? It is simply the way things are.

On current form, to be amazed at an Alastair Cook hundred would be like being amazed by a poor management decision or the setting of the sun.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. He’s a top egg and no mistake. Although, there will come a day when England are less than 100 and he’s not actually batting. I don’t know when that day might be, but we need to be mentally prepared. For many, this will be the first time in their lives that they have experienced this phenomenon, and it might well disturb them. In this case, print and keep a copy of this article about the recall to the Australian team of Phil “c Guptil b Martin” Hughes. It will help put things into perspective.

    1. Is that a reference to something else that we do? We didn’t know anyone was paying attention.

  2. Will Cook go on to break Sachin’s records? Will the English journalists wake up and start writing constantly about this? Will this affect his performance? Will the pressure make him show up to matches unshaven? Given it is Cook, will we notice the difference? Will he quit international cricket completely and become a jazz player in a small pub in the middle of nowhere? Do these questions make sense? Or do I need more coffee? Am I going to get any work done today? In the grand scheme of things, does that matter?

  3. “Oh look, Cook’s batting.” You would never say that.

    Wrong. It should be: ‘”Oh look, Cook and Compton are batting.” You would never say that.’


    Looks promising though.

  4. Cook is only about 9 months older now than Strauss was when he made his debut. If he does as well as he did for the rest of his career Cook will end up with something like 14000 runs and 40 odd centuries – and approaching 200 caps. So in the Ponting sort of level.

    1. We’re not picking on you here, Daneel, but there are a lot ifs being bandied about today; a lot of projections.

      Form can be fickle and all sorts of events in life can undermine a person. He might even grow tired of excelling. You just don’t know.

      We’re enjoying every innings of Cook’s while he’s playing the way he is.

    2. To be honest when I was writing that, I was wondering about that sort of thing. Lots of England cricketers seem to have had enough at around 100 caps, plus captaincy seems to take it out of them. I have no idea how long he’ll play for. The idea of him now having a Strauss/Thorpe/Hussain type career on top of what he’s already done sounds like a hell of a lot of work.

      what I get most from looking at the all-time records is really just an appreciation of how staggeringly good Kallis really is; up there at the very top for batting, but with a Jimmy Anderson sized bowling career on the sideline.

    3. That’s very true how distant projections put actual achievements into context. For Ponting, Tendulkar et al to maintain standards for that duration is astonishing. However, with the bowling as well, Kallis is something else.

  5. Sigh. One day of feeling good about myself is gone. I am back to being a sleazeball who would shop for “Mermaid net t-shirt plus, Coco reef Majestic Plus-Size Lingerie, and Plus-Size Sheer Nightgown Sexy Pink”.

    1. Well count yourself lucky because Google+ is still asking me to “follow football. The football that you love.”


    2. Has anyone seen that £250,000 that I am supposed to be investing? I don’t recall ever seeing the money.

      Perhaps I am owed it by one of the banks, because I keep getting cold telephone calls about my PPI claim. I don’t recall ever buying PPI though.

      I have seen Ali Cook bat though. He’s really quite good. Perhaps I can claim for or invest on the back of that?

  6. Thanks for just enjoying his performance and being pleased and for not laying on hype, KC.

    It is the same people that were baying for Cook to be dropped before the last Ashes in Aus that are now writing as if they made and own him. No doubt it will only take a nano second for them to turn and bite the god again if he shows even a clay toe.

  7. If Cook beats Sachin’s records – not a big if at the moment – Bradman’s undisputed status as the greatest batsman ever is under threat.
    For, when Sachin is the one having the records, Englsih journalists will point to the 40 point gap and say that generational differences cannot account for the 40 point average

    But when Cook reaches the same level, the 45 point difference in average will be “scientifically” proven to be a funciton of the limited conditions in which Bradman played and the rigours of the modern Cricket

    I am so looking forward to the event just to see the English journalists change the tune on Bradman.

Comments are closed.