Imagine being bowled out in less than 18.4 overs in your first innings

Via @BCBTigers

Bangladesh were bowled out in 18.4 overs yesterday. That’s pretty bad, but apparently it wasn’t actually the shortest first innings in Test history.

Imagine how bad at cricket you’d have to be to be bowled out inside 18.4 overs. Imagine how embarrassing that must have been. Hopefully, whoever it was, they weren’t playing a big match against a bitter rival because that would have been unbearable.

All out in under 18.4 overs. It’s almost beyond comprehension. No, wait, it’s almost beyond belief – it most definitely is beyond comprehension.

In a Test match there is no obligation to score runs at a quick rate. You can just block the ball or leave it. You can all but remove risk from your game. With that option available to you, how could you possibly lose a wicket more frequently than once every two overs?

That’s not just rank incompetence, it’s sustained rank incompetence from an entire team of players selected because they are the most competent that nation has at its disposal.

If we saw such an innings, these are the top three things we would think as the awful offensive joke cricket played out in front of us:

  1. Surely at some point one of them will manage to be something other than fully shit
  2. They must be so ashamed of themselves
  3. Look at Michael Clarke’s face

Chin up, Bangladesh. You’re not the most embarrassing cricketers of all time.

Childish Things

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9 Appeals

  1. It’s just a shame someone from ’round these parts wasn’t there to witness it.

  2. Funnily enough, while you were upping that piece this morning, I was upping this one.

    http://ianlouisharris.com/2018/06/26/three-days-in-kent-for-gardens-cricket-sissinghurst-canterbury-24-to-26-june-2018/

    Obvs. Middlesex weren’t quite a shocking as a team that gets bowled out in fewer than 18.4 overs – that would be horrific, not just shocking – but still Middlesex were quite shocking.

    Has any test team ever been bowled out in fewer than 18.4 overs? I cannot recall such an incident, but my memory is not so strong. Bert is usually good on this type of cricket knowledge – he might just have a definitive word for us on the topic. No pressure, Bert – in your own time.

    • Jayne with a Y

      July 5, 2018 at 2:41 pm

      18.3. Australia. *That* 60 all out at Trent Bridge. Or so Google tells me.

      • Good heavens, the answer was under our very noses…

        …or up them even.

        Many thanks, Jayne with a Y.

  3. KAJ Roach 5-1-8-5

    Crikey

  4. Just got World Cup ticket to Bangladesh v Pakistan. Cool.

  5. Disaster! I wasn’t there for this abomination. I wish I had been, because watching such a catastrophe would be tremendous fun.

    Oh, wait a moment. Yes, I seem to recall that I have seen something similar in the past. Thank goodness. Now I can console myself with memories of this event.

  6. Imagine how low it could’ve been with England’s greatest wicket taker bowling at the other end. Think he was rested for that one. Michael Clarke’s face though, broken….

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