India got bowled out for 92

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< 1 minute read

They even managed to lose three wickets to Albie Morkel, who apparently still exists. Confusingly, with age he’s starting to look like Morne Morkel’s younger, chubbier brother. Guess the fat pushes out the wrinkles. There could also be some sort of Dorian Gray style arrangement which sees team-mate Chris Morris taking on the role of the painting because the seamer looks a good 15 years older than he really is.

When we switched on, all of the players were sitting around doing nothing during what should have been South Africa’s run-chase. This was because the crowd were busying themselves peppering the outfield with bottles. With the boundaries being so far in, there was zero chance of them hitting any of the players, but they stopped the game anyway.

Presumably the fans were doing this in the hope that it would somehow reverse time and give the home team a second chance to set a decent score. Or maybe they were doing it as a favour to the broadcasters, allowing them to squeeze in the requisite number of ad breaks in what looked like being a rather short match.

Either way, time continued conventionally – albeit perhaps a little slower – and 92 remained the target. When South Africa reached 70-3, another bottle shower saw the players walk off.

Imagine caring that much about a Twenty20 match. Maybe they were just irritated that they couldn’t make beer snakes because the bottles didn’t tesselate.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. yes, cricket in India is in healthy shape as long as the crowd care enough to throw plastic bottle on the ground. (given the nature of some of the mob violence happening in India, plastic bottles littering the ground are the least of worries right now, I feel)

  2. My word, what is this ‘responsive design’ sorcery? Where are the ‘bits on the right hand side that I never click on’?

    1. They’re at the bottom.

      We know it’s a bit rubbish that the site doesn’t work properly on phones, so we’re looking at ‘options’.

      Faffed around with this design a bit and have decided to just leave it on for a few days to see how much you all moan about it. We’re not wowed, but at least it’s airy and better for those who aren’t at a PC.

      1. So long as the Top Trumps continue not to work, we at least have a point of continuity.

    2. It’s a bit too ‘airy’ for my liking (especially on the right), but I am (usually) on a PC, and other people may have different opinions.

  3. I can see the avatars much better now.

    I’m not sure that’s a good thing. Marees’ looks like it wants to go all hagfish on my face, and my own seems to have “been at the substances”. God knows what STD’s will look like up close…

  4. First the Great Vowel Shift. Then metric. Now this. I don’t object to change per se, but this helter skelter rush of change on change is too much. Slow down, for heaven’s sake. We’ll have women voting before we know where we are.

    1. It was white initially. We tried the beige and it looks worse, but it has to be beige.

    1. …reassuringly 1970s.

      I can live with these changes, KC.

      I especially like the HTML instructions at the bottom of the comment box while you are commenting. At least I know that I could if I could fathom them out and if wanted to; I just don’t want to .

      1. Double indentation!

        I was the first person here to be indented. Now I am the first to be double indented. I am the king of indentation.

  5. I’m not sure about all this. The one term I don’t like to be called is a ‘vulture.’ Because to me, a vulture is a kind of asset-stripper that eats dead flesh off the bones of a dead creature. Our bird should be the phoenix, the bird that reinvents itself, recreates itself from its ashes. And that’s much closer to what it is that we really do.

  6. It’s not as farcical as the BBC’s new setup, in which one must–despite having a widescreen monitor–repeatedly select which innings of a given match to be displayed in scorecard form at a given time. Mustn’t overwhelm the tablet. I do not understand why mobile interfaces are pushed to all readers.

    Then again, it’s not as if web designers had much grasp of aesthetics or usability prior to phones-for-anything-but-talking-to-people, either.

    Probably the silliest thing is the King Cricket logo drowning in its mammoth orange field, but I’ve seen worse remodel jobs.

    1. It’s supposed to be a beautiful picture at the top there.

      We used a picture of some orange.

  7. How do all you folks get indented? I’m too old for all this and what the heck is an eye phone?

    1. Aha, got it! In one less go than Ged, no less.

      And by “no less” I mean “no more”.

      1. But mine actually says the thing I’m talking about in both the main text and a hover caption-type thingy while hiding the HTML behind the thing I”m talking about.

        I’d feel smug about getting my head around it more comprehensively, were it not for the fact that I used to actually know all this stuff and am struggling to relearn it.

        My early efforts above clean forgot to , which enables me to then proceed prattling without the whole remainder being a hyperlink.

        This cheat sheet sorted me out.

      2. …clean forgot to…

        …insert the character

        … (darn HTML won’t let me show you what I did!!)

      3. /a inside those greater than/less than bracket thingies.

        Gosh explaining it is tricky.

        Just fiddle around and look at the cheat sheet yourselves!! Why do I have to be the only one of us making a fool of himself?

    2. It strikes us that comments were a lot more straightforward before there was an explanation of how to use HTML tags.

      1. Ha!

        Pandora’s box is well and truly out of the bag and amongst the pigeons in the chicken coop.

        A bit of additional complexity, the inevitable bants about geekiness and change…

        …these are very low prices indeed for reconnecting with our natural freedoms.

        I feel like bursting into song about it all.

      2. And indeed very low prices to fly to directly to Grand Cayman Island from a variety of origins, as the Skyscanner banner ad telleth!

  8. Won’t you now be poorer without the income from the Russian Mature Dating advertisements? By the way, did anyone hear that India got bowled out for 92?

      1. Bottle-hurling being OK after the first few, and the using ‘too much brain’ ones both seem legit to me.

      2. Cheers. Had the ‘too much brain’ already, but weirdly the 1.8 runs thing didn’t feature in the piece we saw.

  9. This new site redesign looks like a bucket of apples, in the sense that that’s quite nice if you already liked that sort of thing and I’m ambivelent

    1. No-one’s been hugely negative thus far, so it’s looking like we might stick with it.

      1. My only genuine concern/problem is the lack of five other “deliveries” at the bottom to browse through that maybe tangentially related to the page I’m looking at. That’s some top procrastination material down the drain there. ๐Ÿ™

      2. Sterling work your Maj, ensuring that I have something to distract me from my sterling work.

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