Paul Collingwood’s been banned for four matches for England’s slow over rate and Kevin Pietersen‘s picked up the reigns to the haggard, lifeless horse that is the England one-day side. We’re not unhappy about this. We’ve said before that we think Kevin Pietersen would make a half-decent captain.
KP said he was ‘humbled’ by this ‘ultimate honour’.
This is clearly bollocks. KP’s never been humbled by anything in his life, because he’s got that unusual belief that he’s better than everyone else. Generally speaking this is an insanely irritating characteristic in a person, but it’s a pretty handy attribute for elite sportsmen.
The very best cricketers have been the ones who can defy reason and bend a match to their will: Botham, Richards, Warne. You can’t triumph against the odds without that faintly delirious, essentially unjustified belief in yourself. Pietersen isn’t remotely close to this company, but we’re not going to criticise him for having that mentality. If nobody thought like that, cricket would be all the more banal and predictable.
We’re not saying that Pietersen’s the best batsman in the world, because he isn’t. He is however an extremely good cricketer and a big part of his cricketing make-up is that self-assurance. That and mascara.
So when he pretends that he’s humble, we don’t mind. He knows that he’s supposed to be like that to be more likeable. However, we don’t for one minute want him to actually feel that way for real. So a blatant lie about being ‘humbled’ is the best he can do in our eyes.