Low scores in Stanford Super Series

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England celebrate a good tight overThus far scores in the Stanford Super Series have been heading south faster than Boris Johnson after being offered chips and gravy by a whippet in a flat cap. Scores, in order, have been 146, 124, 121 and 109.

These aren’t the scores Twenty20 marketers want. They want sixes to all parts and bowlers getting humiliated.

The pitch appears to be made out of plasticine and one man who’ll be happier than most will be Graeme Swann, who didn’t look like getting a game before the series started, but who must be increasingly confident of a spot with the pacemen’s bouncers only endangering the batsmen’s ankles.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. Here’s a theory:

    – Swann and KP at Notts together before KP went to Hants.
    – KP fell out with everyone at Notts, especially Swann.
    – According to Jrod writing on TWC, KP is the only one who doesn’t seem to think this pitch is suited to spinners. See http://www.thewisdencricketer.com/blog/?p=234
    – Swann is best suited to this pitch out of all England’s bowlers.

    – Swann won’t get a game because KP doesn’t want to enrich an erstwhile enemy by $1m.

  2. And if anyone cares as much about these things as i do – Flintoff will confirm signing for Puma on Friday.

  3. Ooo – conspiracy theory – love it and believe it totally. KP obviously thinks the pitch is perfect for pie bowling as he bowled all four of his overs whilst denying Samit and SId their full allocation. In the words of St Sarah of Canterbury – Pah!

  4. One of the special powers upon which BraveStarr could call was “speed of the puma”…perhaps Freddie will move up a notch and top 100mph regularly?

    I suppose “eyes of the hawk” might also be useful if the review system ever gets rolled out to all Tests.

  5. Dammit, I was intending to maintain a studied (almost animal-like) indifference to this stupid series. Anyway, looks like KP is alert to the pitch and doesn’t think his own spin is sufficient, so Swann is probably quids in:


    Who’ll miss out though, Jimmy or Sideshow? Smart money’s on the latter.

    The man-boob accentuating umpire kit is a stroke of sheer genius, though.

  6. I remember when i was a kid…watching the tests on BBC the players had cricket bats made by proper cricket bat manufacterers, NAd i even thought that Robin Smith was a cool because he had a Yellow grip. Now KP has Addidas and AF is signing with Puma, im sure Nike will get involved soon, if they havnt already.

  7. Another here totally buying D Charlton’s conspiracy theory. If he denies the team a substantial slice of dosh by leaving out a potential match winner he’d better steer clear of grassy knolls.

  8. That’s as maybe, Rich, but they are both strong characters and KP was hated at Trent Bridge. That resentment would have hung round the dressing room for ages – in fact, Swann replaced KP, you could argue.

    Basically, it is personal. It has to be. Although that pitch in Antigua is so weird, even KP can’t deny Swann, by the looks of SimonC’s link.

    Anyway, aren’t conspiracies much more fun!?

  9. Also firmly in the conspiracy theory camp. Said it all that Swanny was referred to as “one other” when KP was asked which four wouldn’t be playing last night. Should imagine he took the mick pre Captain KP days a few too many times. Plus he has more personality in his big toe than Kev could ever dream of having. Presumably, however, a potential mega payday and not wanting to be seen as fallible will prevent KP excluding him???

    Incidentally, I have been referred to as many things in my time, Ceci, but never before as a saint!

  10. Remember in the real world Britain cricket does not really exist – its not on ‘non sport channel’ TV. And in current advertising it only exists in ‘ye olde England’ cream tea village vistas.

    So at least there is a small upside to having Addidas, Puma, Nike etc – cricket will at least appear as a contemporary sport alongside football etc – in the same way that it is now absent in any BBC upcoming sports billing.

    Shame that anyone pulled in by it will enter the hollow world that is this made up psudo international 20/20 pants. Let them ignore Swanny at their egotistical peril. The room for comedy entertainment is huge – and it will be fantastically hilarious if they loose [ for a bit anyway until they are in India].

  11. Probably will be Hairybottom that misses out, even though Anderson was comfortably the least impressive bowler on show.

    Some proper village cricket last night, though, particularly from Carter. The sort of slogging that would make even Runako Morton blush.

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