New Zealand opt to bowl and then bowl

Posted by
< 1 minute read

Some believe that Brendon McCullum’s decision to bowl in Wellington was partly as a result of his decision to bat and then bowl on the first morning of a Test against South Africa at the start of the year. If so, he’s an idiot.

The other alternatives are (1) that it was a reasonable decision that was in no way vindicated by his bowlers, who may as well have been bowling in wellingtons as in Wellington or (2) that England batted well.

Bearing in mind that Jonathan Trott and Nick Compton both scored hundreds, maybe it’s the kind of pitch on which steady, watchful batsmen score runs, in which case it probably wasn’t wise to insert England with their top three.

It’s not so much that Trott enjoys batting – which is what everyone always says about him. It’s more that he enjoys being at the crease. He’s perfectly happy to deny himself many of the more enjoyable aspects of batting if it will allow him to be at the crease for longer.

Trott will be sleeping well, not because he has scored a hundred, but because he knows he will be at the crease from the first ball in the morning. As far as he’s concerned, life is perfect.

For his part, Brendon McCullum is probably enduring a nightmare in which he sees a double-headed coin spinning through the air shortly after he has called ‘heads’.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. Let’s not get too carried away. 267 for 2 might sound a strong position, but England might only have another two batsmen to come, having suspended five players for not keeping an up-to-date record of breathing out and persistently eating Cornflakes on management-prescribed Shredded Wheat days.

  2. When you win the toss – bat. If you are in doubt, think about it, then bat. If you have very big doubts, consult a colleague – then bat.
    – WG Grace (apparently).

    I guess Nasser Hussain was asked about Brisbane ’02 a lot yesterday.

  3. This is so much better for England than the end of day one at Dunedin.

    I can only think of one possible explanation for the remarkable change – all England players must have filled in a presentation with three bullet points explaining how they would do better at Wellington.

    Does anyone have any insight into what some of the England stars’ bullet points might have been said?

    1. 1. Sorry about getting out that way I did at Dunedin.

      2. I promise I won’t do it again.

      3. Can I go now?

    2. What the Frigg is wrong with everyone? The cricket world appears to have lost its ability to speak in normal English sentences.

      If only the commissioning editors of a certain cricket website would let me write some words in exchange for money on this very subject.


Comments are closed.