King Cricket

September 15, 2007 Australia / England

England v Australia

< 1 minute readWe heard that England were playing Australia yesterday, but we didn’t pay any attention. We’re not going to bother checking, but it’s pretty safe to assume that England won handsomely. Comments to the contrary will be vigorously deleted. Yes, you can delete something ‘vigorously’ – but only when that something

September 15, 2007 India / Pakistan

India beat Pakistan after a bowl out

< 1 minute readWhy must they play these matches at pub o’clock on a Friday? It was probably gripping, but we wouldn’t know because the only gripping we were experiencing was from our own hand around various overpriced European wheat beers. The last word in that sentence rather explains the ham-fisted punnery that

September 15, 2007 Associates / Sri Lanka

Sri Lanka win a record

< 1 minute readIt’s the oh-so-rare 12″ version of Blue Monday by New Order. No, not really. They just won a game by a record margin. ‘Win’ is a noun in this instance. Oh the fun of pretending that nouns are in fact verbs. Don’t say you don’t get value for money at

September 14, 2007 Bangladesh / West Indies

Bangladesh knock out West Indies

2 minute readWe’re brilliant at this whole ‘identifying players to watch during the World Cup‘ thing, just so long as you’re not too rigid about which World Cup we were talking about. Chris Gayle might have gone for a duck yesterday, but earlier in the tournament he hit the first ever international

September 14, 2007 India

Rahul Dravid resigns Indian captaincy

< 1 minute readHe was a reluctant captain. He was a reluctant wicketkeeper. When will people realise: All Rahul Dravid is interested in is batting. And batting and batting and batting. Fancy a bowl, Rahul?

September 14, 2007 England / Zimbabwe

Kevin Pietersen shows the Aussies how it’s done

< 1 minute read‘It’ being ‘scoring runs against Zimbabwe’. Despite forgetting that he was right-handed for much of his innings, everyone’s most/least favourite bludgeoner hit 79 off 37 balls after England had lost a few early wickets. England also won by quite a margin, opening up the possibility that they could knock Australia

September 13, 2007 Match report

Kent v Yorkshire Pro40 match report

< 1 minute readFrom what would appear to be our Kent Pro40 correspondent, Lemon Bella: I forgot that this match started an hour earlier than usual, so I didn’t have time to get lunch ready. This meant I arrived at the ground armed only with some dried apricots and a bottle of water.

September 13, 2007 Pakistan

Shahid Afridi starts his World Cup

2 minute readBecause the Twenty20 World Cup is Shahid Afridi’s, surely. Against Scotland yesterday, he hit 22 off seven balls, which is actually useful in Twenty20 cricket and then took 4-19, which is useful in any form of cricket. We originally thought that Twenty20 cricket wouldn’t show Afridi in his best light.

September 13, 2007 Australia / Zimbabwe

Australia lose to Zimbabwe

< 1 minute readWhat’s this in our underwear? It’s urine. It’s gallons and gallons of urine produced during uncontrollable laughter at how Australia lost to Zimbabwe in the Twenty20 World Cup. It’s been a long time since anyone’s really been able to remark upon an Australian defeat. There was England’s win in the

September 12, 2007 Pakistan

Shoaib Akhtar attains fiftieth headline since he last played a game

< 1 minute readAt least the recent news proves that Shoaib can still hold a bat. We were starting to wonder whether he was actually a cricketer at all or just some sort of soap opera character planted to raise the profile of the Pakistani national side. We’ve included a picture of him