Posted by Sometimes we do this thing where we sift the summer’s events, pick out the more striking moments and then see whether we can perceive a vague yet coherent picture. There’s no analysis here. We offer no conclusions. At best, it’s an exercise that might get you half a step closer to what Werner Herzog refers to as ‘ecstatic truth’.
We haven’t done this for a few years. It looks like 2022 was the last one, at the start of the Ben Stokes era. We did it in 2021 as well, which gives a sense of what preceded it.
With that in mind, maybe this year’s ‘findings’ won’t reveal themselves for a year or two.
Nevertheless…
1. County cricket had a structural review
Not strictly speaking England-related, but there are ramifications. 10 minutes into the county season they started talking about changing the County Championship next year. Then they argued about it for absolutely the entire summer before eventually floating an impenetrable bonkers compromise… which was rejected.
2. Sam Cook made his Test debut
Against Zimbabwe. He took 1-119 and they never picked him again.
3. Zak Crawley proved himself the very best batter in the whole wide world
In that same match. And so they did pick him again.
4. England hit 400 in an ODI
England played both ODIs and T20s against the West Indies at the start of summer. They won the former 3-0 and there was presumably a result in the latter as well – although who’s got time to check such things? The most memorable match (and we’re using that word generously) was the first one – Harry Brook’s first as permanent white ball captain – when England made 400 and won by 238 runs. This set out their new template of trying to score so many runs that no-one notices they don’t have enough proper bowlers.
5. Harry Brook charged Jasprit Bumrah
It didn’t take long for the England v India Test series to reveal it was going to be a cracker. It was pretty clear by the end of Jasprit Bumrah’s opening over, by which point Zak Crawley had already been dismissed. Bumrah then accounted for Ben Duckett and Joe Root before finishing the day giving Harry Brook all sorts of trouble. After sleeping on it, Brook concluded that the best way to counter the world’s best bowler would be to run down the pitch and carve him for four. Multiple Tests of to and fro between these two? Yes please.
6. Josh Tongue turned up late
So memorable was the bowling of Jasprit Bumrah in that first Test, it’s jarring to recall that the match was ultimately decided by the bowling of Josh Tongue – despite the fact he allowed India to reach 453-5 in their first innings before deigning to take his first wicket. But arriving for the Test bang on eight hours late, Tongue didn’t let prolonged abject non-contribution to his team’s cause dissuade him from bagging a hatful. 0-78 in the first innings became 4-86, and then 0-60 in the second became 3-72.
7. Shoaib Bashir registered England’s most expensive figures since 1950
While also being England’s most successful bowler. Throughout the second Test, there was criticism for Ben Stokes’ decision at the toss, but the simple truth was they bowled so badly that Shoaib Bashir’s 5-286 ended up the best effort. Chris Woakes, Brydon Carse and Ben Stokes all notched bowling centuries, but only took five wickets between them, while Josh Tongue raced to 0-42 off his first six overs in a frantic rush to get to the wicket-taking bit, but then never really actually delivered that crucial second part. (He was committed to his bipolar approach though. By the fifth Test he’d shorn away all mediocrity to the extent he was delivering nothing but byes, wides and jaffas.) The end result was India set England an eye-watering victory target of 608, which a surprisingly large number of people thought they had a chance of getting. That surely says something about where we are right now.
8. Zak Crawley called on the physio for a made-up injury
But not only that, he did so immediately after stopping Jasprit Bumrah a whole bunch of times due to a fictional distraction. This was positively Herculean transparent time-wasting shithousery. India were understandably very unhappy, just as England were very unhappy when Shubman Gill had stopped the entire game for a lovely, protracted massage so that KL Rahul could make up the time he’d been off the field – a period of absence that would otherwise have prevented him from opening the batting.
9. Ravindra Jadeja declined to score some runs
And it was extraordinarily entertaining.
10. Ben Stokes tried to claim that pain is “just an emotion”
Rather than your body’s way of telling you that it’s sustained some damage. Just an emotion? Stokes sat out the next Test and hasn’t played since.
11. Chris Woakes walked out to bat one-handed
The defining moment of the summer and, really, of Chris Woakes’ career as well. (We mean that in a good way.) After shouldering a colossal workload relatively well, Woakes shouldered the soggy Oval turf rather less well in the fifth and final Test and was ultimately forced to retire from international cricket. Before that though, he had to complete a decisive Test match which climaxed with England needing 17 runs for victory from their last partnership. One-armed he may have been, but Woakes was needed as one half of that partnership, so out he went to complete agonising singles with a recently dislocated shoulder. England lost, but his mere presence elevated that passage of play to one that we’ll always remember.
12. Something finally went Mohammed Siraj’s way
The exact same passage of play! What a finish! Mohammed Siraj was the only quick bowler to make it through all five Tests. But if his body remained intact, his constant presence hadn’t come without cost. Siraj had in fact been shaping up as some sort of slapstick fall guy character. He’d dropped crucial catches and dropped them for six; he’d been flayed to all parts; and most memorably of all, he’d feebly and tragically blocked the ball onto his own stumps at the end of the third Test after an hour of stout resistance when just a handful of runs were required for victory. But Mohammed Siraj did not give up. On the 25th day of the series, he boomed down endless outswingers and took the wicket that levelled the series.
13. Sonny Baker made his international debut and it went terribly
Is this one of those where we’ll look back on it in years to come and laugh about how irrelevant debut performances are in the grand scheme of things, or is it one where we’ll look back and marvel that such a short-lived groundswell of enthusiasm should propel a player into the England team on such flimsy evidence?
14. Jacob Bethell hit his first professional hundred
But England’s ODI team still didn’t contain enough bowlers.
Before you go, a couple of quick points about our book
There aren’t millions of copies of The 50 Most Ridiculous Ashes Moments available in the UK because most of them have gone to Australia. This means that even though the book’s not technically out yet, if you definitely want to secure a copy – for you or for someone else – don’t hang about: order it sooner rather than later.
We can’t imagine it’ll sell out on day one, but you never know – we’re not talking silly numbers here.
It’s worth emphasising that ordering in advance is a big help for us because all those sales persuade the publisher and retailers there’s a market for the book. It also give it a bit more prominence in those crucial first few days which should help it along a little.
Big thanks in advance. And please order it from bookshop.org rather than Amazon. It seems to be appearing on a few other sites as well.
Great recap of the season.
But so many questions on your postscript.
On what basis does Dan deserve the lead writing credit? You beat him alphabetically on both name fronts! (Unless it was his idea, he did most of the writing and you just sort of encouraged him, maybe bought him a coffee every now and then, or sent him occasional text messages, without actually writing very much. In which case, fair enough.)
How (or why) did you get Cummins to write a foreword? (Unless you thought it might knacker up his back ahead of the upcoming series. In which case, fair enough.)
Not so many questions, actually.
Just the two.
Well it’s with a publisher who’s done Dan’s other books so makes sense it gets to sit alongside them in shops. Plus, because his name is shorter, he has to share his line on the cover with an ampersand. Seems unfairly afterthoughty to be second AND share your line with the &.
Pat was good on the podcast so we thought we’d try our luck. We do however feel significant guilt that improper typing technique may have contributed to his physical woes.
Don’t tell Cummins about standing desks.
Pre-ordered the book, thanks for years of entertaining cricket supplementation.
Not a problem! Bigger thanks for investing in our tangible output.
That was the summer that was. A good one! Thanks also for the reminder of the Zimbabwe match, way back when.
Meanwhile, in no way over-anticipating the winter to come, I’m checking Sheffield Shield matches. Marnus looking in good form, but no so much Nathan. So a mixed picture.