Everyone’s favourite type of cricket news: branding news

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< 1 minute read

We’ve read enough about the Royals branding thing to know that this is classic marketing news: a lot of column inches are being devoted to nothing of any real consequence.

Rajasthan Royals are an IPL team. Some other teams are also going to be known as ‘Royals’. They’re going to wear the same kit, maybe share some players and play against each other every now and again.

“It will enable us to take advantage of the changing landscape in cricket, not least in the areas of marketing and talent development,” says Sean Morris, chief executive of Rajasthan Royals.

Our soul was totally eroded by people who think wholly in terms of marketing by the time we were 17. What chance have the youth of today got?

These days you’re a fleshy shell of a person wallowing in a target demographic before your 11th birthday.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. You don’t have to use fire.

    Alternatively, you could hit him where it hurts: hijack his brand identity, positioning it somewhere unsavoury in the eyes of the consumers.

  2. Oh the horror! Even I’m not that evil. Aiming the brand at a completely uninterested demographic. I might as well eat his children, you sadist!

  3. So, what happens if all of them make it to the Champions League? (I’m guessing that’s one big draw here)

    It becomes one big Royals orgy?

  4. Ugh. We’re going to get some unwelcome visitors via Google searches thanks to that last comment.

    No-one think about the British royal family for at least the next ten days or you’ll harm your brain irreparably.

  5. Brand catastrophe!

    Everyone drop the Q3 financial forecasts and aspirational photographs and just GET THE HELL OUT OF THE BUILDING.

    To all concerned: the Royals brand is dead in the water!

  6. A good way to visit suitable retribution on Sean Morris, is to confound his market analysis by making sure the ‘landscape in cricket’ ceases to change in any way, and becomes utterly static. I’m not quite sure how to go about doing this, though.

  7. I like it, Alex – a campaign of militancy that requires of its soldiers that they do absolutely nothing. That’s my sort of protest.

    What do we want?
    When do we want it?

    If you need me, I’ll be manning the sofa.

  8. If you want nothing never, doesn’t that mean you want everything always?

    Sounds very exhausting.

  9. Anything Warney is plugging is automatically suspect and I ain’t barracking for a team that is planning on dropping the name Bushrangers just to replace it with Royals. Gack.

    Bloody Victorians.

  10. Good point, DC. That chant should clearly read:

    What do we want?
    An simple, sustainable and relatively diverting existence.

    When do we want it?
    For a prolonged, but not unreasonable, period of time.

    That’ll fucking show ’em.

  11. Don’t see the problem with this branding stuff myself.

    Anyway. shouldn’t King Cricket be siding with the Royals, or am I missing something, brand-alignment-wise?

  12. King Cricket will surely be getting his branding kick backs from Kings Punjab XI; next season they’ll be sharing drinking tips in a festival of beer.

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