Sachin Tendulkar wins the Test match

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Sachin produces the slow, inevitable murder of a bowling attackWatching Sachin Tendulkar bat is always a disappointment for us. It’s not his fault. He’s had the decency to be a batting genius and we can’t really ask much more of the man. The fault lies with our own expectations.

When you watch Sachin Tendulkar at work, you expect to be smashed round the head with the frying pan of his brilliance, but it’s not like that. Being an exceptional batsman largely relies on doing the exact same things that ordinary batsmen do, only doing them more often while avoiding doing a few other things.

It is not spectacular to watch someone not doing something, no matter how crucial that something may be.

Sachin Tendulkar hit a hundred on a fifth day pitch to help chase down 387. The real achievement was in eschewing risk and negating danger for such a long period. The frying pan of Sachin Tendulkar’s brilliance merely simmered unobtrusively on the hob of good decision-making until the omelette of unlikely victory was done to perfection.

DON'T BE LIKE GATT!

Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.

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19 comments

  1. I think KP’s declaration helped us loose the match as well.We should have batted out which would have given a chance,albeit small, to either win or draw the first test.Indian cricketers are good at chasing runs and no wonder they won.

  2. The better team won. England looked on top for most of the match, but ultimately over 5 days the truth came out, as so often happens in test cricket.

    All the chat around England’s slow batting Day 4 and declaration is sideshow.

    Viva test cricket. It was marvellous, albeit disappointing for us England fans.

  3. I fucking love this.

    The frying pan of Sachin Tendulkar’s brilliance merely simmered unobtrusively on the hob of good decision-making until the omelette of unlikely victory was done to perfection.

    That is the greatest sporting quote I’ve ever seen.

  4. Does anybody actually think the declaration made any difference? Would England really have scored lots more runs had KP not declared at 9 down with Monty coming into bat and Jimmy at the other end??? India won with roughly 27 overs left in the day. They are just better than us, in terms of ability and especially mentally. That’s what needs addressing, not endless chat as to whether we should have declared (in my humble opinion – now shoot me down, V!)

  5. Of course the declaration didn’t make a difference. England did well to get up to a 380 odd lead.

    I hate to say it because I’m a fan of his, but Panesar’s figures of 0-100 in the fourth innings on a turning pitch when the opposition were trying to win are simply not good enough.

    I just get the distinct impression that nobody is working with him, building him up and improving him as a cricketer. There is so much emphasis on pace in the England set-up that nobody takes time to really work with the spinners. If you ask me we should have two bowling coaches.

    Rant over.

  6. Sam, It’s true..

    If they can’t defend 380 on a 5th day pitch, they shouldn’t be there. There’s a reason it’d only been done a few times before, because it’s nigh on impossible.

    But it’s not just Monty, it’s Harmless and Jimmy fucking Anderson too. The three of them have got no cojones. Any time the going gets tough, they bottle it.

    Also, they do have a spin coach, he just wasn’t allowed to travel, he had visa issues because he’s a dodgy fella, who may or may not have thrown games for money.

  7. “The frying pan of Sachin Tendulkar’s brilliance merely simmered unobtrusively on the hob of good decision-making until the omelette of unlikely victory was done to perfection.


    Does it occur to you that the same applies to Bradman, then?

    Also, if you want f**ing brilliance every over, why dont you try the God of Sehwagology?

  8. This is exactly why England shoulda sent the two bottles of arrack and the months supply of kottu Bloomfield asked for to give him magical powers that help us churn out legends like Murali and Mendis.

    Your loss and Monty’s.

  9. >Is Raj having a go at us for calling Sachin Tendulkar brilliant?

    He’s just upset you don’t swear more often.

  10. Think that means something else. Wouldn’t want to pass comment on his skills in that particular sphere.

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