Sanath Jayasuriya’s last match

Get back to parliament, you lazy bastard

Sanath Jayasuriya has finally bowed out of cricket just three days short of his 70th birthday. He departed how he had thrived, with a ferocious cut shot.

Asked to reflect on his career, Jayasuriya may or may not have said:

“Eh? What? Speak up. Why does everybody mumble these days? Is it too much to ask that people speak clearly and audibly? You’re all too busy playing with your iTelephones and Sony PlayMachines to enunciate properly. What’s the world coming to? Bring back conscription, that’s what I say.”

Hey you!

Can't be bothered checking King Cricket for updates?

We can come to you...

Get our articles by email (this is the best option)

Get our fortnightly email newsletter

Follow us on Twitter

Follow us on Facebook

6 Appeals

  1. I wanted to say something about overstaying one’s welcome, but it turns out tomorrow is his birthday and I don’t want to be mean.

    • King Cricket

      June 29, 2011 at 1:49 pm

      One of this article’s lies has been devalued by that revelation.

      Now it just looks like an inaccuracy.

    • Given you had no idea when his birthday was, it is staggering how you managed to zero in on a day that is just two days off.

      That ain’t no inaccuracy, that’s sorcery.

    • King Cricket

      June 29, 2011 at 4:34 pm

      It’s a type of sorcery called ‘someone on TV mentioned when Sanath Jayasuriya’s birthday was while we weren’t paying attention because we were too busy writing about Martin Rossiter from Gene‘.

  2. Turns out Sri Lanka Cricket – or whatever it’s called now – has announced that the first ODI was only the first leg of Sanath’s farewell. He will be allowed to properly bid farewell to fans in other parts of the world, with the final leg of his multi-legged farewell scheduled for 2015 in Sri Lanka. That is only appropriate.

  3. …which reminds me, how is Frank Sinatra’s international farewell tour going?

Comments are closed.

© 2020 King Cricket

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑