Five-Test series between England and India

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Have we updated the site today? No.

Did we forget? Yes.

Will this be one of our all-time greatest updates? Definitely not.

India and England will play five-Test series in 2014 and 2018. That’s good, isn’t it? Five-Test series allow for a proper narrative to develop.

The term ‘five-Test series’ means a series that consists of five Test matches, you understand. India and England aren’t playing five different Test serieses.

You knew that. But now we’ve made it confusing.

This is not going well.

We’re going to stop now.


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  1. This is top good news.

    Cricket is a great game whatever the format, but a T20 match has no time to develop. It’s a Steven Seagal movie, just a series of allegedly connected action scenes. Take all the Steven Seagal films ever made, cut them up into scenes, and reassemble them at random. No-one will notice. You can do the same with T20 innings.

    ODI cricket is better. It allows for some plot to develop. We’ve moved on to the Indiana Jones films.

    Test cricket is better yet. Here the whole movie experience can be brought to bear. The plot develops. Characters acquire depth. Twists and turns make for compelling viewing. This is Where Eagles Dare stuff – Broadsword calling Danny Boy, Broadsword calling Danny Boy.

    A five-match test series just takes this to a whole new level. The plot, the characters, the settings, the lighting even – all of this matters fundamentally. Ask someone after a five-match test series what THE highlight or THE turning-point was, and you will not get an answer. What is the best line from Casablanca? Same thing.

    The logical conclusion of all of this is that multiple-series superclusters comprising a minimum of ten years’ cricket must be best of all.

    1. I think I once read that in Where Eagles Dare Clint Eastwood’s character kills more people than his character does in any of the Dirty Harry films.

      This has to be significant.

  2. The best line from Casablanca was “Book ‘im Danno, murder one”.

    I love twenny twenny cricket. Test matches are like SO boring.

  3. I suspect Steven Seagal would make a fine T20 player, he’d have even more strange moves than Eoin morgan.

    Clint Eastwood and Richard Burton as test openers? Hmmm … maybe. A slight disadvantage is that R W Burton is dead, but we’ve had worse at the crease.

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