Steven Finn should fall over in a lot of Tests

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Steven Finn remains on his feet

If there’s one thing we like, it’s people who fall over a lot. With that in mind, we’re calling for Steven Finn to be inked into the England Test team for the forseeable future.

We already knew that Finn was an accurate bowler from what we saw in Bangladesh, but we only suspected that he could be fast. He topped 90mph once at Lord’s and given a year or so, injuries permitting, he should be pretty fearsome.

Steven Finn tells people that he’s 6ft7in, even though he’s actually 6ft8in, because “it’s embarrassing”. You’ve got to like someone who thinks an inch makes all the difference when you’re talking about those sorts of measurements.

  • “No officer, I wasn’t doing 155mph in a built-up area, I was doing 154.”
  • “No, I didn’t eat 17 bags of crisps in a row. I ate 16.”
  • “No, your Honour, I didn’t brutally murder 26 prostitutes, it was 25.”

Not that we’d like the people who might have said the above. That’s slightly different. Something to do with innocence.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. You’ve reminded me of a joke from my childhood.

    A chap goes into a pie shop and asks for 99 pies.
    “Why don’t you have 100 pies?” asks the assistant.
    “Don’t be daft,” says the man. “Who’d want 100 pies?”

    It was like that in my town.

  2. If a bowler is as tall as Finn he doesn’t need to bowl at express pace but can use his height to his advantage.

    I think Finn is at his best when he bowls at about 87-88 miles per hour.

  3. He doesn’t need to, but it would be another attribute if he could bowl quickly with the same control.

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