If you attend a cricket match this season, please send us a match report. Our submission guidelines are ever-so-straightforward: on no account mention the actual cricket.
Miriam opens the season’s reporting:
I went to this match after church (yes, how very English of me). Having heard so much about him, I was extremely disappointed that Dirty Dirk Nannes wasn’t in the playing 11.
Because of the building work at the Oval, the members were housed in the OCS stand, which I like because it has comfy seats and nice toilets. The toilets have an automatic soap dispenser with a sensor – you just hold your hand under it and it dispenses a measure of soap. You only need to do this another four times and then you have enough soap.
Hot drinks were available for free in the John Major Room, which was very nice, but I really think that they should do barbecues on that little terrace next to the room. If they then got some decent beer in they’d be on to something.
The men I was sitting near had ABSOLUTELY no idea how Duckworth–Lewis worked. They also weren’t sure whether the DL score was the score to win, or to draw. I wanted to say “neither was Shaun Pollock”, but I was a little bit afraid of them.
A lady at the bar said that my hair was beautiful, and touched it without my permission. I didn’t mind too much, though, as I’d actually thought I was having a bad hair day.
I think I was the only person in the crowd wearing pink, and I’m not even a Middlesex fan!
During the rain delay, I got a chicken pie. I wasn’t going to get a pie, but by that stage they were reduced to £1 and it turns out that I AM in fact price-sensitive when it comes to pies.
Also, I lost an earring. So if anyone finds a white pearl 7.5mm stud, it’s mine.