Tag: Sachin Tendulkar (page 2 of 3)

What is Sachin Tendulkar really thinking?

The Cricinfo headline reads: “Tendulkar not thinking of 100th ton”.

Now we haven’t got time to actually click the link and read the article, but we have got time to sit here with a beer or two, spending hours thinking about that headline.

How can Cricinfo know that Tendulkar isn’t thinking of his 100th ton? They state it with some certainty, but how can they actually know it to be true?

Option one: Cricinfo have spoken to Sachin Tendulkar

This can’t be true. Even if it were true, you can’t ask someone what they’re NOT thinking about. Is it possible to know? Surely if you mention a thing, you must be thinking about it in some small way.

If you aren’t thinking about a particular thing even slightly, you’re not cognisant of the true meaning of the words that describe that thing and therefore cannot state with certainty that you aren’t thinking about it.

You have to understand the question in order to answer and in so doing, you have to think about the thing you’re not thinking of.

Conclusion: Cricinfo have not spoken to Sachin Tendulkar.

Option two: Cricinfo have developed some sort of mind-reading device

This must be true. Furthermore, the device in question must be scanning Sachin Tendulkar’s brain for every hour of every day. How else could Cricinfo state with certainty that the diminutive batsman isn’t thinking about his 100th ton?

This is slightly unsettling, because we had until now considered Cricinfo to be a peaceful organisation that did not possess sinister futuristic technology that could potentially be used to enslave mankind.

We’re also interested to know what will happen should Sachin read this Cricinfo headline. Surely, if this were to happen, the 100th ton will be thought about, if only for a split second.

Tendulkar v Murali

We wrote about the various World Cup storylines during the quarter-finals. The stories of Tendulkar and Murali, two ageing greats, seem to be the strongest now, but that’s mostly due to hindsight.

All the same, it makes for a good narrative. There’s also a minor subplot that no-one will care about: it’s Lancashire v Yorkshire!

We’re pretty keen for Tendulkar to win the World Cup in his home city, because that really would be a good story. Then again, he did play 16 matches for Yorkshire almost 20 years ago. Still not forgiven him for that.

Murali, by contrast, is an honorary Lancastrian having represented the county a bucketload of times. He too is one of our favourite cricketers and we’d love to see him win the World Cup in his final international match, if only to see just how much one man can smile.

Either way, it’s a lose-lose situation – that’s how we’re viewing it with our famously boundless optimism.

Dale Steyn versus Sachin Tendulkar in an abbreviated title bout

Tendulkar wins this roundThere’s a great Test series taking place in South Africa at the moment and we’re gutted that we’re missing so much of it because of the Ashes.

It’s like when you get carried away ordering takeaway. The leftovers won’t keep for a week, so you’ve got to make some tough decisions about what gets eaten and what doesn’t. However, while we’ve had a hell of a lot of Ashes, we’ve always got room for Dale Steyn and Sachin Tendulkar.

While Morne Morkel’s a 5-90 then 0-90 kind of a bowler. Dale Steyn’s more 3-50, 4-80, 5-90. Off-days are very rare and he’s been slashing at India almost constantly for three Tests now.

In many ways, Tendulkar is similar. Test hundreds 50 and 51 against this bowling attack in its home conditions tells you pretty much all you need to know about the man.

If we have one minor gripe, it’s that it’s only a three-Test series. Wait. Did we say ‘minor gripe’? We meant ‘colossal ball-aching issue that just about makes us want to cry’.

Taking Sachin Tendulkar for granted

Even Tendulkar hasn't seen all of his hundreds - there have been too many even for himIt is so easy to take Sachin Tendulkar for granted. He’s 191 not out against Australia. You see that and you think: “Of course he’s 191 not out against Australia. Why wouldn’t he be?”

The statistics are everywhere. Picking some pretty much at random, this was his eighth hundred in 15 Tests since the start of 2009 – a period in which he’s scored 1,735 runs at 86.75.

You set your own standards. People look at us, unshaven and half asleep and they think: “Of course he’s unshaven and half asleep. Why wouldn’t he be? I can’t tell from looking at him, but I assume he’s also locked himself out of his own house for the second time today.”

How good is Sachin Tendulkar?

If Sachin Tendulkar hits exactly 100 and another batsman hits exactly 100, Sachin Tendulkar is top scorer.

When Sachin Tendulkar gets bowled, it is only because he can hear the thoughts of wood and one of the stumps has insulted him. The wood only insults him because it is bitter that Sachin didn’t choose to use it for his bat.

Sachin Tendulkar doesn’t play across the line. He decides what path the ball was taking.

If you stand on top of Everest and look up, you will see Sachin Tendulkar’s left elbow if he is playing a cover drive at that moment.

Sachin Tendulkar doesn’t take guard. He puts his bat down and the stumps just move into line.

The Duckworth-Lewis method takes into account Sachin Tendulkar’s presence at the crease.

Sachin Tendulkar can never be timed out. Everyone is willing to wait.

Sachin Tendulkar doesn’t need to keep his eye on the ball.

Sachin Tendulkar hits an ODI double hundred

Sachin Tendulkar adds a mere 200

Due respect to Saeed Anwar, but from the minute Zimbabwe’s Charles Coventry equalled his world record ODI score of 194 against Bangladesh, someone needed to go past it.

That someone was Sachin Tendulkar. There are some pretty ordinary batsmen making big scores these days, but Sachin is not one of them. 200 not out is never a bad knock, but in a one-day international, it’s unique. South Africa were given a profound hiding.

Tendulkar lost his technique somewhere around 160 as his body started to cave in, but he didn’t let it stop him. He didn’t even let it slow him. He manipulated his calf muscles and punched himself in the back, trying to physically persuade his body into working order. The grimaces said that he wasn’t succeeding.

After passing the 194, Tendulkar found himself on 199 for what seemed like an age as Mahendra Dhoni monopolised the strike and repeatedly hit sixes. Given a ball to face in the last over, the crowd noise went up to 11. Tendulkar was sufficiently unarsed by the significance of the moment to take his chance and everyone saluted the finest one-day international batsman there’s ever been.

Sachin Tendulkar: 20 years of batting like this is beyond comprehension.

Sachin Tendulkar and Virender Sehwag

At least only one of them's got a bat on this occasion

Comparison’s probably inappropriate, but Virender Sehwag is more eye-catching than Sachin Tendulkar these days and people get infatuated with the way he plays. As we asked this morning: which is more memorable, a Virender Sehwag double hundred or a Virender Sehwag 15? His achievements are high profile.

A couple of jaw-dropping facts though. This was Sehwag’s 19th Test century and his 31st in internationals. Tendulkar’s was his 47th Test century and his 92nd in internationals.

There’s a case for saying that Virender Sehwag became exceptional where Sachin Tendulkar always was exceptional. We’re sure Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel have been pondering that a lot.

Really, who cares? Comparing these two is to totally miss the point.

Sachin Tendulkar – 20 years of batting like this is just astonishing

Did you know that it took 78 one-day internationals for Sachin Tendulkar to score a hundred? It’s an odd fact, that, considering he’s squeezed in another 44 since then, including a whopping 175 against Australia today.

It’s sometimes difficult to appreciate Sachin Tendulkar properly. It’s like thinking about the vast emptiness of space or the vast emptiness of the modern urban lifestyle. It’s all too much to comprehend.

Sachin Tendulkar does this for the billionth time

What has Sachin actually achieved?

Sachin Tendulkar scored his 17,000th run today. That’s a stupid number that’s seemingly of no consequence at all. But then think to yourself that scoring just a thousand one-day international runs is actually quite an achievement. Ricky Ponting’s only just passed 12,000 and he’s the third-highest one-day run-scorer of all time. Sanath Jayasuriya’s second on about 13,000. These guys are a long, long way behind.

Two whole decades of being pretty damn exceptional

Tendulkar’s not some fly-by-night like Mike Hussey; he’s not some short-lived overachiever like Ricky Ponting or Brian Lara. Tendulkar’s in it for the long haul. As impressive as all the runs and all the hundreds are, the most jaw-dropping achievement of all is that Sachin Tendulkar has managed to be good enough to play for his country for 20 years.

Bet he’s ace at frisbee

He’s not a Nepali Ultimate Frisbee player either – he’s an Indian cricketer. And not just any kind of Indian cricketer – an Indian batsman. This is a country where if you wander down to the Oval Maidan in Mumbai of an afternoon and grab the six nearest people, you’ll probably have a Test standard batting line-up. Sachin Tendulkar has been pretty much the best batsman in this country for 20 years. That’s astonishing.

Bit of cricket

A tree falling in the woods may or may not make a sound

But a Sachin Tendulkar hundred in a packed stadium makes a kind of searing white noise that sets the hairs on the back of your neck on end even when you’re sat in England watching it on Sky Plus when you already know the result.

Towards the end of this match, Suresh Raina hit a cracking six and got all pumped-up and pleased with himself. He went for another big swing and spazzed it. Sachin Tendulkar hit two sixes in a row at one point. We can’t remember what he did with the next delivery, but he didn’t get out. He passed 17,000 runs and didn’t get out next ball. He got his hundred and still ploughed on.

But get it wrong and the white noise becomes blue murder. There’s that too.

And what have you got?

You get batsmen who are exceptional when they’re 16. You get batsmen with adamantium wrists. You get batsmen who choose their shots well.

You get cricketers who are fit and dedicated to their sport. You get cricketers who can cope with the downs and who come back stronger. You get get cricketers who can last for 20 years.

You never get all of this.

On the slide

There were people four years ago saying that Sachin Tendulkar was ‘past it’. They said his reflexes had gone. People often say this about batsmen once they get past 30. It’s such utter, utter bullshit.

Oh and by the way, Australia won.

Meet Sachin Tendulkar

Don't say 'who are you' when you meet himIt’s probably the World Twenty20 and the Ashes, but we’re getting an insane number of press releases sent to us these days. Today we’re going to tell you about two separate competitions where you can meet a cricketer.

This is the first one. It is classy. Sachin Tendulkar is doing a book signing at some shop called Opus at some place called Covent Garden in some town called London on Thursday.

It’s a Twitter competition. If you’re a member, log in and put: “@thisismission I’d love to meet the cricket legend #Tendulkar at the Opus Store on Thursday!”

The winner will be drawn tonight.

The second competition will appear later. It is less sophisticated. You will like it.

Sachin Tendulkar wins the Test match

Sachin produces the slow, inevitable murder of a bowling attackWatching Sachin Tendulkar bat is always a disappointment for us. It’s not his fault. He’s had the decency to be a batting genius and we can’t really ask much more of the man. The fault lies with our own expectations.

When you watch Sachin Tendulkar at work, you expect to be smashed round the head with the frying pan of his brilliance, but it’s not like that. Being an exceptional batsman largely relies on doing the exact same things that ordinary batsmen do, only doing them more often while avoiding doing a few other things.

It is not spectacular to watch someone not doing something, no matter how crucial that something may be.

Sachin Tendulkar hit a hundred on a fifth day pitch to help chase down 387. The real achievement was in eschewing risk and negating danger for such a long period. The frying pan of Sachin Tendulkar’s brilliance merely simmered unobtrusively on the hob of good decision-making until the omelette of unlikely victory was done to perfection.

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